Isn't life...

strange
weird
idiosyncratic
complicated
scary
beautiful
and confusing all at the same time?
I mean I came out of the womb wanting to move out, wanting to be the career city girl. Conquering every concrete corner as if it were my own. My goals were determined and idyllic yet I didn't think about the path God had for me. I misplaced the knowledge that His plans were different than what my little 9 year old self had set. To this day I would still love to have that life but I know that whatever I may desire doesn't always match up with His desires for me. I'm sure that if I were told of where I am now and what I doing when I was 9, then I would have been shocked, but for me now, I'm okay with it. I'm happy with it.
So here I am about to meet with a guy to tour the townhome that I may be renting with a few of my friends. What? Seriously? I'm old enough to do that? When did life go by so fast that I can now pay rent for a home, buy my own groceries and decorate my own house!
My running over to a neighbors house to ask if they want to come out to play has now become 'Want to meet for coffee?' 'Let's do dinner' 'There's show tomorrow night, wanna go?'. To me it doesn't seem that long ago that I was dreaming of Taylor Hanson and jealous of the girls in Limited Too or singing the intro to Clarissa Explains it All. So really, please explain how life goes by so fast.
As of lately I've realized a lot of my faults. I'm beginning to loathe the sound of my voice and the resounding thoughts in my head. Why am I so critical? Am I worthy of being loved? Will I actually amount to anything in my life?
And then I pray. I claim in faith that my life will amount to something. I am worthy of love. I will do the things that I'm passionate about. How is it that Satan puts these thoughts of anxiety and doubt in my mind?
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything in prayer and petition, present your requests to God."
I cannot be anxious. I cannot fear. I cannot doubt. There is no need for that, it only clogs and blurs the great things He offers.
Right now I'm confused about what is ahead concerning college and my career, but there is a peace that I have in my heart. There is deep faith that, I will quote Mr. Tom Petty again, It'll All Work Out.

With that said, bon nuit
-bets