Betsy Girl

2009-10-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

As I have turned a new leaf in my life I have begun a new blog to document all that is going on.
Lovely Little Place : betsy-davis.blogspot.com

xo BD

2009-07-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

We are less than 2 weeks away from the wedding!
I'm ecstatic, frantic, gloriously happy and somewhat scared all at the same time.
Fo
We have so many things going on in our life right now that sadly we can't fully embrace it all. First you have the wedding- this beautiful joining of two lives. Buutttt prior to this amazing event comes lots of preparation. Seats, food, drinks, dresses, ties, flowers, tables, favors, fire works... yes, fireworks :)
I can understand why people plan weddings 6 months to a year in advance and also why there are wedding planners. For couples like Adam and I that for some reason decide to put lots on our plates, you essentially become overwhelmed and can't necessarily enjoy the process.
All hotels and flights are booked for the honey moon- now we're planning our ativities! Sushi in chinatown, walking galore, fisherman's wharf, shopping of course amongst other things. Then off to Anaheim for a few days to spend walking around Laguna and Disneyland. With all of my might I am wishing that we will revell in the fact that we can rest. Savor the week of it being only the two of us traveling, is my hope.

On a more home-y note:

This weekend we spent in Memphis scouting out places for our first newlywed home.
We drove countless miles of to apartment complexes and toured about 10 1-2 bedrooms. No matter where we looked we found you get little space for a lot of money. Desparate to find a good deal but also a great location, we, on our last day, found a cute 1950's 2bd/1ba duplex in midtown. Hardwood floors throughout, vintage gas stove, glass tile in the bathroom- we were sold! We have a cute porch which we'll adorn with flowers as soon as we move in.
This friday we'll drive back to Memphis to sign the papers and move everything in.
I am beyond giddy! I kept squealing about having our new little home.

It's cozy! Just what we need, in a great little area with a fun little teensy back yard.
We both promised to take pictures outside for every season, we'll open the windows cook cook cook, and of course...my favorite....decorate!
But oh the task of packing! Must be done by this Thursday, no way around it.

Love, Betsy

2009-06-25T09:14:00.001-07:00

Oliveaux
I have fallen head over heels for this site.
Stumbled upon it from another blog I read daily, La dolce Vita, and am inspired! Oh to have my own home :)

2009-06-24T18:13:00.001-07:00

This day has come to such a beautiful close.
I'm sitting on the front porch of Adam's parents home atop this rickety old makeshift bench watching "the boys" shovel rocks. Apparently they've just found a frog of some sort hopping around.
The sun has now set which has left the air cool and now still with only the faintest breeze. Adam's been playing the new Coconut Records and Coldplay's release of the Viva la Vida tour- seems to be the perfect soundtrack for this evening.
Blunders have arisen when it comes to the wedding, everything from the cake to a tent costing $600. Doing things as a team makes life easier and more enjoyable than I'd expected. We're a team, you know?
Yesterday we both had a break from work and scurried about town running errands and finding the price for tobacco cloth. Turns out, no one really sells that stuff....dangit. Also a new refuge for the us has become book stores. We linger around the isles for hours sometimes.... I bought 'My Life in France' by the way :)
A wonderful story of Julia Child and her time spent in Paris with her husband.
I've now decided I will reside there for a short while and learn to speak french while cooking. With Julia's vivaciousness and love for food I was greatly inspired for dinner. Luckily I layed out chicken yesterday morning to stuff with goat cheese and carmelized onions! So yummy! We bought a bottle of sweet sweet Hogue wine and french bread to dip in olive oil and herbs.
We have, once again, the best times together. We cooked the whole meal in our itty bitty apartment kitchen, quite a feat really.
The sun has very little light left for this day and boys have now finished their work. I think I'll retreat inside and go home for a swim.
Lovely days are here :)

By the way, we just spotted a deer in the front yard

2009-06-20T13:13:00.000-07:00

Things I am loving:

Restoration Hardware laundry softener sheets
Air Conditioning
Peonies
Elle Decor
wavy hair.

Summer, for the first time in a long time, I actually like you. Despite the fact that you make me sweat at the most inopportune times you've brought me swimming and iced venti soy chai's.

And by the way, I'm in search of tobacco cloth, and I mean tens of yards. Who's got it??

2009-06-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

With the wedding quickly approaching we are hurriedly getting all of the details in place! With so many tasks at hand we both, if not all of us involved, breathe a sigh of relief when they get accomplished.
Yesterday Adam and I went to Nashville after a quick bite to eat at SATCO, we visited hotels. As the wedding will be late into the evening and we won't fly out until the next morning, we get to stay the night at a beautiful hotel of our choice.
The first one we visited was cool and modern but nothing that I would like to spend my honeymoon in. The second was beautiful Union Station off of Broadway in downtown Nashville.
Walking in we both loved the decoe. high celings and personal service.

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We also visited The Hermitage Hotel who had unbelievable service. As it was slightly raining outside I popped out of the car to walk in and a man ran up to me holding an umbrella over my head to walk me to the door. Ummmm, yes please! The room was nice, the bathroom though was spectacular! There was a flat screen hanging on the mirror that you could tilt to view from the bathtub! I mean, look at it!

Loved it, but alas too expensive for only spending about 10 hours there. Cool story for ya :) We get into the elevator to head down stairs, down one floor the door opens with a stylish musician-y scruffy man walking in on his blackberry. He apologized for secluding himself from the rest of us and laughed. Later that night Adam and I were watching E! News Live and there's a segment on the CMA festival- they spotlight on Sugarland's performance, lo and behold the blackberry man was the lead guitarist in Sugarland! (sorry I think that was the longest sentence of man kind) Cool :)

We've decided on Union Station and will fly out the next morning at 6:55. Whooooa we will be so tired. San Francisco, here we come!
Also I must mention we kicked butt on booking flights and addressing invitations. Hooah!
Alright I'm done, off to my apartment for a good nights rest.
Bon nuit

2009-06-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

We're engaged!!

He proposed this morning at 5:45 while the sun rose over the Natchez Trace bridge.
I absolutely adore him- I couldn't feel more secure in the fact that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

2009-06-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

We're getting there:)Now we must insert the details and get 'em printed then sent out.

Thank you to my wonderful and talented brother Josh for designing the whole thing! We love it, thank you so much!!

2009-05-21T20:46:00.001-07:00

Invitations it is!

We have already purchased the cardstock in which we'll use to print the invitations.
Target has a great deal where you can buy 50 blank 5x7 cards with envelope for $10! We ended up buying three and are (late in the game, yes I know) designing what we'd like to have on them.
I've found a few fonts which I like a lot and though they cost roughly $30, I love them and I'd rather play it the legal way. (That's what marrying a lawyer does to you! Oh my word :) Oh oh oh but there are some sites that provide you with free fonts as well- at this point I've only seen the tip of the ice berg in the font world. It's so much fun to design these!!

Oh and we've also decided on honey bee's for the "icon" I guess you could say. (Must give great great remarks for Faye and Greer's blog- they've been a wonderful source as of late.
There's a family I sat for once who owns a winery out in California and their icon was a honeybee- Honig Wines- There's also Patron tequila whose bee I really like the design of. Ornate, not cartoony is what we're going for.

We're definitely behind on sending the invites out. You'd think with the time crunch we've given ourselves that we'd kick it in gear but really we're somewhat lax. uh oh.

Also changes have been made with the honeymoon! A new post will have all of the fun info and plans :)

2009-05-10T19:45:00.001-07:00

yes please!!

2009-05-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

What a week, I can't believe how fast it flew by and now it's Sunday!
Thursday night was so much fun with all the girls, we went to the O'More fashion show which I only got to see the last 15 minutes of. Afterward we went to Boundry in Hillsboro where I enjoyed a verrrry potent "adult" capuccino. LK documented it with a very lovely photo of me....oh my, I think I'll stick to my regular run of the mill wet capuccino at starbucks.

Wedding plans are coming together quite well, I'll meet with Katie (a friend and awesome artist/photographer) about the invitations! I was hoping to do mixed cd's for everyone as a wedding favor but daddy said that copyright infringement would come into play. Can I find a way around it??
Through the very short time that we've started to buckle down in all of the planning I've found that you can honestly do weddings quite sensibly. Also I've put into perspective that this party will only last for 3-4 hours and there's not a need to blow twenty or even ten thousand dollars. In my case the budget is limited and I think I like it better! I'm given the opportunity to make homemade pieces and truly be apart of the planning. My old art teacher from highschool spent a couple of years as one of the top wedding planners in Nashville and has graciously agreed to lend a planning hand.
I will do my best to update with themes: Next task at hand invitations. Eeek!

I'm elated to have a summer wedding with twinkle lights, ice cream, wild flowers, great music and lemonade :)

I love the idea of ice cream cones in July- hot and sticky weather but a little scoop of strawberry gelato and sprinkles makes everything better.

I'll be staying at my parents house tonight as my tire was flat this morning. Luckily Daniel (Adam's brother) saved the day and put on the spare where tomorrow Daddy will save the day and help to put the patched tire back on.
Time for a new car I tell ya! Delilah has been swell but really, I think everyone who's ridden in it knows all of her character can't make up for the instability.
Also sorry for the last post, I was a wee bit emotional.... I know that no one wants a goody bag from my pity party.
Love you all :)

[ photos courtesy of: Ritzy Bee. Oh Joy. Santa Barbara Wedding.
Martha Stewart Weddings]

2009-05-04T21:24:00.000-07:00

When it rains, it sure as heck pours I tell ya.
There have been a lot of things lately that have come my way absolutely unwanted and unexpected. Many of which I have since learned from but still wouldn't have asked to be put in my life. You live and you learn and chances are you so don't know as much as you think you do.
Have I been vague enough? K cool.
A few weeks ago Holli and I visited Adam and his roommate Kevin in Memphis for the weekend. We had lots of bar-b-que, looked at wedding dresses, went to Young Avenue Deli to hear a blues band play while eating THE MOST AMAZING FRIED PICKLES EVER!!
But anyway, in driving to bring Adam a snack for lunch I neglected to see a red light, accidentally ran it and got into a car accident with two other people. Completely rattled that it was I who caused all of this I was in shock and felt awful for what was about to occur. No matter how you slice it or how you try to play the 'what if' game, shame falls and you blame yourself incessantly for screwing up.
After the accident I had to get into big girl mode by talking to insurance agents and figure out money options. I had a really really tough week. I cried....a lot.
On top of that work realities started to set in, also the fact that people you never meant to hurt by not telling them things weighs pretty heavy on your heart.
When it rains it pours. I've seen gray skies for 3 weeks, please Jesus I need some sunlight. I'll just say that as much as you might be hurt or upset, I'm carrying it more than you may realize. Just....give me a minute.......
Though after the storm the sun can slowly break through. And I mean rulllll slowly.
April was not my month- Adam and I have had a tough semester... both of us are ready to start the next together. Finally :)
This weekend I came to Memphis again- he's been so very sick with having gotten Salmonella poisoning the last time we were here. Taco Bell any one?
I drove over to take care of him, cook some meals, clean some clothes and sheets- it feels good being the one who gets to care.
From this point on I have great respect for alllll law students. Their butts get kicked and kudos to them for sticking it out.
Enough for a sad post it seems. Back to reality I go.

2009-04-10T05:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, but here I am!

New meeks (mix) at hand....I'm glad spring has sprung- I'm in need of a park day like no ones business and it's time to update my american apparel v-necks prrrrronto.

Meeks
track 01 Tickets to Crickets by Ferraby Lionheart
track 02 Some Are Lakes by Land of Talk
track 03 Bella by Angus & Julia Stone
track 04 So Fine by Telepathe
track 05 Working Poot by Horse Feathers
track 06 Waterfall by The Cloud Room
track 07 Everything Leaves A Mark by Pictures and Sound
track 08 Paper Aeroplane by Angus & Julia Stone
track 09 Runner by Dustin O'Halloran

Busy busy trying to figure out wedding things. I've visited countless blogs and read I don't know how many bridal magazines
Love love love the following:
100 Layer Cake
Ritzy Bee
Southern Weddings
Martha Stewart Weddings
Once Wed
Kiss the Groom
Style Me Pretty

We register tomorrow, I couldn't be more excited! Life is so great and he comes in today :) I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, torture I tell ya! Oh and Sunday it's Meet the Parents. Cross your fingers
Love you, bets

2009-03-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Busy bee.
Prayers have been answered for sure as the Lord has greatly provided for me financially. This week I have worked every single day be it babysitting or iveycake and am so thankful.

Last weekened I feverishly baked and iced my first cake. I stupidly forgot to do a crumb coat of icing and put it in the fridge before doing a second coat. Needless to say, my first go-around looked more like a light blue crumb-y cake. Friday night I was up until 2:37 making so many batches of icing. At one point I ran out of powdered sugar and crisco which "necessity is the mother of invention". I grabbed 4 sticks of butter, 1/4 cup of powdered sugar and 1 cup of regular granulated sugar. After blending made it too runny I added 2 cups of marshmallow creme. It tasted great but sadly wasn't the consistency I needed. Class on Saturday was fun, I've found baking and decorating a new hobby.
This week we're alowed to make cupcakes. I decided on espresso chocolate cake with a vanilla bean buttercream. Although because I'm a huuuge fan of nutella I decided I will put a cup of nutella into the cake batter for an extra creamy hazelnut punch. I'm so excited! The only problem is that I need to find time to make this. Eeek. See it's a blessing to work everyday until 9:30, just no time to prepare. :)
Also bees. Yes over the past few years I've had a love for the little honey, hard workin', yellow and black bees. There's a small garden shop in downtown franklin with a lovely selection of bee goods. Plates and wicker nests, iron bookends, etc. Yesterday while looking through a magazine I noticed a beautifully decorated cupcake with a marzipan and almond bee. Yes please!
Well I'm off to finish laundry and then babysitting for the evening.
Good day one and all :)

2009-03-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Wednesday one and all!

Monday was absolutely beautiful of course of course and in honor of that I shaved my legs and wore a sun dress. That's right, the world saw my whiiiite legs! It felt like freedom though :)
Adam and I drove up to Nashville where we went to the Nashville Public Library where we sat outside in the courtyard- he read his new Spin magazine and I worked on my Esther Bible Study. I really do enjoy it, never having read that book of the Bible before and not having heard buzz about it, I didn't think much of it. Go figure it's just what I need. So we sat outside for a while and because of stupid expensive parking we left for burritos and sweet tea at satco. Once again, sooooo beautiful.
Being with him is like being at home. I know people are thinking, "GAG REFLEX!" but with all of my heart I know he's the one I want to be with. My best friend, the one who I can not wear make up in front of, act like we're on flight of the conchords with british/new zealand accents and who lets me fall asleep in his lap evvvvvery time we start to watch a movie. He's the one :)

So Monday was fantastic and I bought 4 colors for my icing which I hope to make today! I hope to bake my little heart out and maybe tomorrow go on a picnic if possible.

Who knows, I might even upload pictures of the past few days. Betsy on top of things??? What???

Love love love......you.

OH and one quick thing, my dad told me last night that his new favorite album is The Weepies and my mom like M.I.A. Gosh I love my parents, they're cooler than I could've ever thought!

2009-03-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

The obligatory "I love Spring!" post is here.
I don't say that harshly, I say it lovingly....truly!
I do love Spring. I love waking up in the mornings with my windows open and the family of birds who have made their home in the tree right beside me.
It's wonderful, just wondermous.
Saturday was my first little wilton class. There are only 5 of us, including myself embarking on this very sweet journey. Morgan is the 12 year old girl I met and immediately wanted to be friends with. Also Hannah the quietly sweet who closely resembles fez from That 70's show, but asian. Not even kidding, glorious really. Then Trina who was super cool and works at the Harris Teeter Bakery... hook it up girl! Lastly, Brandi. She seems to be a bit of a know it all....nice, yes.....but my word don't tell the teacher how to teach. Nome sain? Soooo our homework for the week is to back a two layer cake and have the base icing on for when we come into class this Saturday. I'm thinking I'd like to make a lemon blueberry cake with white icing, light blue dots all around the edges and buttercup yellow flowers in the middle. I'm going with simple although it may turn out to be a rainbow cake if they don't let me do the dots. bah humbug.
Yesterday Adam and I spent it with my family after church. We did lunch and cupcakes followed by naps and bedspreads. We didn't leave until about 9:15. Such a good time when you get to be with the people who love and accept you most, you know?
Love.
Today seems to be the kind of day where I would sit outside until the sun goes down. I'm thinking of going to the Nashville Public Library where they have this somewhat hidden courtyard with a huge water fountain and tooooons of flowers.I think I'll meet solice there for a few hours. I'd like to sit there a read, please. Yes I must catch up on the past couple of lessons I missed in my Esther biblestudy.
Mixed cd's are my new best friends, jsyk.

2009-02-28T09:20:00.000-08:00

Next saturday morning I will take my first cake decorating class at JoAnn's. I'm really excited but also a little nervous. I was telling Ivey I felt it might be like being back in school- you know the cool girls in a little circle who are the best at everything.
But aside from petty grade school competition which I'm sure will not even be there, it should be fun.

I've been engulfed for the past month looking at wedding cakes, and believe me I've watched the Martha Stewart Art of Cakes episode (which I tivo'd by the way) at least 3 times already. I looked up pictures of what the cakes I'll be decorating might look like. One of them I am by no means excited about- the clown cake. Now I know it's alll about technique and that's most likely the main purpose in doing it but still. Kinda creepy.....I have to buy 2 plastic clown heads and their bodies I will make out of icing.
Here are some pictures of what others have done:

I'm really really excited. Hello cake decorating, I will conquer you! (Chances are, you'll humble me and I just might suck)

2009-02-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't be tired right?
I got 8 hours of sleep, have done nothing but work out and shower....
why do I feel the need to nap?
Hello coffee, my legal addictive stimulant bff, I will see you soon!

Yesterday after I got off of my lazy bum (I don't work on Monday's or Tuesday's) I went into town. I was able to sign up for my very first cake decorating class which starts on March 7. Looking over the list of items I cocked my head in question over why I must have a plastic clown head. Seriously? I mean I thought we were working with icing, people....not little plastic creepy overdone make-up heads. Nome sain? Anyway I'm quite excited over this new and fun opportunity to learn a skill with which I am lacking.

2009-02-23T10:12:00.001-08:00

Faster and faster these months pass us by without us realizing it. We're down to the last week of February which to me is the last month of Winter having March start off our Spring Months with flowers and warmer weather.
Along with March, specifically the 2nd day, brings quite a happy and annual occasion: my birthday. Exactly a week from today I will be 21. Little Betsy is now becoming a big girl, legal and all.
This weekend Adam and I went ring shopping at an antique jewelry store in downtown Franklin called Walton's. The man who helped us was gracious enough to open the store back up as they had closed early for the rain- we looked at around 15 different rings. (Once again, big girl moment...only big girls look at wedding rings) Every shape, size, carat and color you would imagine I placed on my finger to see which fit best. We narrowed it down after a while and I fell in love with a 1920's all original 2 carat antique beauty! Obviously neither of us are at the point where we could afford something like that (It was $14,000) but it was fun to look at them. I was standing next to the man that I love who accepts me for all of my flaws, loves the things I hate about myself and truly cares. He's amazing and here I am getting to be with him for the rest of my life! Woooooo hooooooo!
Later on we went to his parents house where I was in charge of making dinner. This is scary. Yes here I am cooking dinner for my future in-laws. Will it be okay? Will there be puking afterwards? Do they make sure to have a napkin in their lap as to slyly put food in there when no one is looking? I kept telling his dad that if he had already called Papa John's I wouldn't be offended. Adam helped me pound the chicken then we dipped it in a little egg and milk, then to a separate bowl with flour, thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper- lastly we placed in it the pan with some extra virgin olive oil...cooked it for about 5 minutes on each side then poured in some cooking white wine. He was such a great help, I say we're a great team! After troubles with the "steamers" mashed potatoes and broccoli we finally sat down to eat. My eyes kept scanning everyones faces to see if they cringed, but not a soured face in sight! In fact everyone cleaned their plate and his parents both told me they really liked it!
Score! See here's my thinking: it's not only if I can just cook a piece of chicken but overall whether or not I can take care of Adam and our family in the future. You know I won't be the fast food McDonald's every night kind of mom, but I can actually cook. Maybe I'm making this bigger than it should be but I'm thinking big picture here. I want his parents to know that I want to take care of him, that I'm capable. That I'll provide him with love and support, wise decisions when it comes to our bills and the things we purchase, keeping a clean home and overall being a good wife.
Cooking dinner for the in-laws without disaster: check.
Yesterday we hung around the house watching Temors, City Slickers and Enchanted. I swear we were on that couch for 15 hours straight! Sometimes you just need to be lazy:)
Last night I went to Spring Hill for an Oscar viewing party at Tim and Surupas. Holy freaking moly they're pregnant again!
It was great to see the girls again but sadly I never see them as often as I'd like.... schedules always seem to conflict but such is life.
Okay so what should I do for my 21st birthday??? Think Betsy, Think!

2009-02-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful day!
I so enjoy days like this when everyone is cheerful and the sun is out.... I know I sound like I'm on uppers but I honestly like it.

This past weekend Kaelah and I took a short trip to Memphis and I'm finally getting the hang of the city....if I get lost at least I know that if I get on Poplar I'll make it out. Such a fun trip, we talked the majority of the way loving truck stops and ladies with mustaches. Oh yes, hotness. We were able to visit a couple of kitschy coffee shops and make some pizza. Life is good, it truly is :)

This week I've been at IveyCake everyday helping out and am now given the chance to learn how to ice the cupcakes! You wouldn't think it's that hard but it certainly takes time and talent. A whole lot of work goes into these little treats that people so often look over. Everything is homemade, even down to the decorations adorning them. The good thing is with all of the time I've put in I can pay my bills. Rent was due yesterday....rent is of satan....I think I've mentioned it before. You know, just sayin.....SATAN. We have a dry erase board calendar hanging in our hallway that says when bills are due and I noticed yesterday that we have at least 1 bill due every week. It never ends I tell ya- I can sympathize with my parents now with getting them in the mail. Thank you two for supporting me and all of my water use!
Tonight Whitney and I are going to see 'He's Just Not That Into You' at the Green Hills Mall. Super excited, good times.

I'm off for now, good day one and all :)

2009-02-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting on the couch at Adam's parents house listening to their hustle and bustle for a Sunday morning. His mom is offering me bagels and cinnamon rolls not to mention she gave me a purse and a bag of coffee beans to bring to my parents. I love it....it's just sweet, you know? CNN is on the tv, his dad is making eggs, and his brother is trying to figure out what's wrong with iTunes. I say all of this because I'm in the midst of the family- you get to the point with people where they let their guards down and let you into their home. I mean sure, they'll allow me to step into their house but sometimes you're not truly invited into their home. It's the point of acceptance and comfortability. Like I said, it's just sweet.
We'll soon eat those cinnamon rolls and go back to the apartment to pick up Kaelah and head to Memphis. Kaelah's ex boyfriend lives right outside of Memphis so she'll hang out with him and I with Adam- we'll leave tomorrow night as we both have to be back in Franklin by early Tuesday morning.

Last night I went to coffee with Holli, who is undoubtedly one of my most favorite people. Without even noticing it we stayed there for 3 hours straight...you know you're having a good time and with good company when you the time passes so quickly. I wish I saw her more often, I must make a better effort in visiting her in Clarksville.

Oh and by the way thank you to Lauren Kupchik for graciously letting me borrow her car- I love you LK!
Off to check the rest of my e-mails and stop this stomach from growling. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday...it's supposed to be 56-60 outside! Yay!

2009-01-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

I was thinking last night while lying in bed about how I haven't hung out in Nashville in a looong time.
Not sure what happened -could be that I'm lacking in the money department- but I used to be up there at least 2-3 times a week. I miss going up to Fido on a regular basis and seeing bands play every weekend.
I must resurrect those times. I must I must I must go back to Nashville times!

2009-01-27T14:57:00.000-08:00

such a dreary day it is.

This morning I woke up to gray skies, something I've grown accustomed to this past month. I don't remember January being so rainy...was I just blissfully ignorant? Whatever the case I stayed in bed and read the first chapter in 'Wild at Heart' by John Eldredge. It is a book giving great insight into the heart of a man and who he truly desires within him- the need to save the day, have adventures and explore. There's a companion to Wild at Heart called 'Captivating' written by John and his wife Stasi revealing the heart of a woman. Where as each book is written respectively for the specific genders, I've heard it's a great idea to read the other. Adam bought Captivating at Barnes and Noble last week and offered to read it if I would like to read his copy of Wild at Heart.
I think as a couple looking towards marriage we are taking steps towards understanding each other on a different level, the levels we may not feel important enough to explain. So anywho I'm reading that and am finishing up Conversations with Tom Petty. I swear I've been reading on it for 2 months!
Tonight I'll stay in again and maybe play 'Deal or No Deal' with Josh and Brittany.
Hello winter days you are heavily upon us.
Good evening one and all :)

2009-01-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

How many apples tall are you?

Apparently hello kitty is 5 apples tall and only weighs two apples.
She is not from Tokyo, she is from London.
Thirdly she does not speak from her mouth- oh no- she speaks from her heart. Hello Kitty is one of the lucky few....

While hanging out with Whitney tonight she informed me of the new line they're bringing in for MAC makeup, everything Hello Kitty pretty much. While at this meeting learning new make up tips they also learned the background of who this little 5 apple tall friend is. Also she is not a cat, she is a girl.

I thought it was cute...and from now on I think it only wise to ask "How many apples tall are you?".

2009-01-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday and by all of our calendars a new week has started. But you know what's funny? If ever I decide on a new week resolution, you know like "starting next week I'm working out everyday.", yet I rarely hear of people doing that on Sunday's. I'm going absolutely no where with that and have no point to prove, but I was just thinking about that.

Yesterday I worked then came home to hang out with Brittany. We ended up making homemade pizza-we're getting really good at it- bought Ben and Jerry's miniature's and rented 'My Best Friends Girl' with Dane Cook and Kate Hudson. Let me forewarn you that it's not a family movie. It had it's funny moments for sure but overall I was more appalled by some of the things they were allowed to say in the script. Quite vulgar if you ask me. But anyway....
This morning LK and I had starbucks and visited the People's Church which both of us enjoyed. Growing up in the kind of household that I did church tended to be a second home; I know how things work, the flow of the service, etc etc. That's what you get for being a worship minister's daughter. So all of that to say I felt very comfortable, just like how it was growing up. But the one thing I don't miss about not having a parent on staff at the church you decided to attend is that you don't hear all of the drama. You wouldn't believe the drama that goes on in a church...oh my word. Gosh this is lengthy. My apologies!
I'm in Spring Hill right now for lunch with the family then hanging out with my fine feathered friend Whitney. Love you :)

2009-01-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

What a whirlwind week!
I wish that I had daily updated this blog as to not forget the fun things that happened but alas I'm writing now.

Saturday after work I drove to Memphis on what was a very nice trip, only 3 hours down I-40. Once I arrived in Midtown he showed me his little studio apartment, perfect for one person his building was built in the 1920's. True wooden doors with glass knobs, chutes for your trash, claw foot tub in the bathroom and even a hideaway kitchen table! We quickly got ready to meet all of his law school friends at a local bar-b-q joint just a block away. There I was in the midst of everyone who knew each other and younger yet they all welcomed me and made me feel so comfortable. At the table was AJ, Kevin, Paul, Katie, Zack and Poole ( I can't remember his first name!) Afterwards we went over to Katie and Paul's cute bungalow to sit on the porch and drink their homemade beer. Yes, they make their own beer! It's so cool, there' a thing closely resembling a deep freezer but really it's a kegerator. I only had a couple of sips, just not a beer drinker. Cool experience though, standing out there chilly laughing about what all they go through as law students and a teacher they call Tortman.
Sunday morning we slept in and eventually got ready- took a break to dance and listen to music- we went to breakfast at a go-to spot (the name escapes me) for omelets! yumm! He drove me around town showing me all that Memphis had to offer. Quite a clean city with kitschy boutiques and historic homes scattered about. At one point we went by the local art store and bought some supplies, he a pen and ink pot with some fixative for his charcoal and I some more drawing pens. So fun! I love how he's interested in the things that I love and is making an active effort in learning about them.
We were so blessed to be there on such a beautiful weekend, never colder than 60 degrees we drove with the windows down most of the time. Later that night we met up with Kevin for sushi at A-Tan. Killer sushi and service. I mean every 2 minutes they were asking if we needed refills or how we liked the sushi. Bueno bueno. Later we got some ben and jerry's and fell asleep to Horton Hears a Who. Okay I fell asleep to the movie- I'm such a lame-o!
Monday we went to the Civil Rights Museum to see where Martin Luther King was shot. The line to even get into the museum (also attached is the Lorraine Motel) was at least a block in length and about 4 people wide. It was crazy, everything was Obama-fied out! We were such the minority being a couple of white kids. People were screaming and singing, vendors were selling foot long corn dogs and choir music was blasted from the balcony outside of MLK's room. What an experience, I highly recommend visiting the museum, it opens your eyes up to how greatly the blacks were mistreated. It hurts to watch some of the footage taken from the 50's and 60's. And to think a little over 40 years later we've now sworn into office the very first black president. Crazy. After having stood in the line and walked through we were starving and stopped by Gus's fried chicken for just that. Not to mention some amazzzing sweet tea! We drove back home full as could be and I packed up my stuff to leave for Franklin.
Shortly after I left, around 15 minutes Adam was getting out of his car from showing me to the interstate and was attacked.
Out of respect for Adam and the situation as a whole I am going to keep all of the events that happened private. I'm more than willing to share with you on a personal level but at this point I don't feel it would be appropriate to voice this for everyone to see. As of now he's fine though soooo sooo sooo very much occured in the past few days. It's utterly despicable and selfish what those 3 men did. My heart hurt like never before hearing Adam on the phone moments after it happened. Please be in prayer over the situation. I think I may be visiting next weekend for a couple of days to help him with moving into his new apartment.
If you read the entire entry, thank you you're a trooper. Be blessed:)

2009-01-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

Seeing as my internet was faulty yesterday I wasn't able to post my blog until this morning. But get this, here I am updating again! I sure hope this streak lasts :)
Yesterday after IveyCake LK and I went to the apt gym and worked our butts off for an hour, thank you to M.I.A and Kings of Leon for pushing every step of the way! We've been really good at keeping up with this, Monday morning at 8:30 we worked out for an hour, yesterday for an hour, and then we'll do it again today at 2:30. Before that I hope to run a couple of errands, (essentially all of that requires energy with which I'm greatly lacking) I must vacuum out my car and run the check over to comcast to pay our cable bill. Bleh, gosh I hate bills!

In other news, I filled out an application to Memphis College of Art and sent in the $27 application fee. I know it may seem as though that was done in haste, but I know myself and if I don't do it now then I may never do it. If that's where I'm supposed to be God will open up every door and provide all of the finances needed- so I'm trusting and praying that I'm walking in His will.

Tonight Whitney and I will hang out for the first time since before New Years. Love her my fine feathered friend, I'm on the phone with her now:)
Oh also after work on Saturday I'm driving to Memphis for a weekend visit to Adam! We even have dinner plans with all of his law school friends that night which I'm scared but excited about. I hope they like me, I'm at least 8 years younger than all of them. Eeek.
Okay so here I go to take care of everything. Love you much xo

2009-01-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

{This is my post from Yesterday}
Shame, boat loads of shame; I haven’t updated my blog in over a month.
I thought about it often and then would say to myself, “Well, there’s too much to update and not enough time, I’ll do it tomorrow.” What I don’t like is simply that I won’t remember some of those little things in my life that were special. Random minute details that my head has since passed over.

Summarizing is what I must do. Gather the beautiful memory scraps and word them as best I can.

Christmas came and went much to my chagrin. I was so caught up in paying bills, awaiting Adam’s arrival, attending parties, and keeping commitments that I failed to enjoy the season. Christmas day was wonderful as I spent it with my family and Adam. I was and am extremely blessed to have them in my life, people who truly care for me regardless of my mistakes and awkward behavior. I am awkward, I’ve come to terms with this...moving on.
I received many giftcards which were so great because I was able to pick out special items for myself that I wouldn’t normally be able to afford. A very cute dress at Anthropologie, art for my room, shower curtain, tops, more dresses, just fun things!
Next came New Years so Adam and I drove up on Wednesday (New Year’s Eve) for a roadtrip of our own and then Mamma and Daddy along with Josh drove up separately.
We went to Forest City, North Carolina a small town about an hour outside of Asheville where Papa lives. We all arrived in just enough time to make quesadilla’s, drink some wine and blueberry beer and watch the ball drop. First New Year’s kiss! (It’s about time, dagum!)
Friday all of us drove to downtown Asheville where we walked around, Mamma spent time in Earth Guild while the rest of us went to Malaprops to look at books and drink coffee. We walked down to Mellow Mushroom then Daddy, Mamma and Josh left to go back home to Nashville. Adam and I took it upon ourselves to walk every block while stopping into record shops, boutiques, art stores, you name it. Saturday the two of us took our time and made it up to Chimney Rock and Lake Lure. (Let me just say I love traveling with that man- he makes everything easier :)
We ate bar-b-q, hiked down Chimney Rock, took two billion pictures and later had dinner with Papa at Mi Pueblito’s. Sunday we headed home and spent the rest of the week with eachother before Adam had to leave for Memphis.

It has finally turned to winter here in Franklin, yesterday it even flurried for 10 minutes! Crazy!
Monday morning LK and I woke up early to work out then later met up to see Bride Wars. I really liked it, super cute and funny. Definitely a light hearted movie for a light hearted girl.
Yesterday Lindsey and I hung out for the first time in a while, just the two of us. I soooo miss her! She was nice enough to get discount tickets to see The Curious Tale of Benjamin Button. Long but undoubtedly worth it, you stay interested and grow to love the character Benjamin and the life he has with Daisy. Afterwards I drove down to Spring Hill for dinner with Mamma. We watched Desperate Housewives and ate Mexican Tower....she was going to show me how to make homemade pasta but I believe that will be saved for another day.
This morning I got up at 3:45 to take Brittany to the airport for a 6:00 am flight. Ooooh so early, but Sufjan Stevens kept me company on the long ride home.
A nap sounds like the best treat- I guess the cup of coffee and 4 shots of espresso have yet to hit me.
Please oh please oh please keep me up, I have such a long day ahead of me!
Work until 4:30, work out with LK at 5:30, sushi andmovie with the girls at 8:30.

2009-01-09T21:49:00.000-08:00

It has been entirely too long since I posted last.
Where is my mind, wheerrrree is my mind.
I've roadtripped, celebrated holidays, worked, rested, worried, stuggled, cried and couldn't have been happier.

I promise to update a full entry tomorrow- I must say though God totally provided for me financially today. Right when I get so completely worried about not having enough money to pay my bills and feel like I'll have to scape money together he provides. God is awesome! Annnd on top of his many blessings, I also made my first pizza by myself and it was good!
So as I said, tomorrow will be an actual entry. Love love love, me.

2008-12-11T15:05:00.000-08:00

Guess what......

it's snowing and it actually stuck :)
I sure do hope it stays until the morning, I would like to wake up with everything covered in white.
The party went well last night but I know quite well that I don't always work the best under pressure. I like to be prepared and ahead of schedule not where I'm scrambling to get things done.
Pick up check, deposit check and get money for bills, buy food, clean up apt, shower, cook and then host...all within an hour. Luckily once all of the girls came over everything was chill and we decided on not going to Opryland Hotel for the lights which works out well because I feel like I'll be going there a few times this month anyway.
IveyCake double today but luckily we've been very steady with happy customers.

Snow is falling and I will bringing cupcakes home tonight for some girly happiness and then tomorrow I have the morning off! Tomorrow night I'll drive down to Spring Hill to have a mini Harvill Christmas with my aunt, uncle, and cousins.
Tessa may even get to spend the night with me, we'll see what happens.

Ooooh my feet and back hurt, my eyes would love to close and my head wants to lay on a pillow right about now. Goodnight

2008-12-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

Oh my word.

I've been saying that phrase one time too many and I even sound a little southern when I say it, I apologize.

I don't know where to start as I feel I've been going non stop. Sunday morning the O'More girls and I went to brunch at Rumba off of West End in Nashville. We had a thread on facebook that extended to about 58 messages. We were able to get everything settled and are having a party to night at my and Kaelah's apartment for the few of us tonight. Ugly sweaters, Pot luck, and Opryland for lights. But back to Sunday! After brunch I came home and shortly got a few things together to spend the day with my family in Spring Hill. I brought my sheets and comforter over to wash while hanging out. We all gather in the living room and start to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase which I had yet to see until that day. I know, scoff scoff scoff.
During the movie I hear loud splashing noises and immediately know that it's the washing machine that over flowed. See, I have a faux down comforter that I hadn't washed in ages so I put it in there hoping that it would soak up all of the water, you know eliminating the overflow problem. Not so. Turned out there was an inch of water covering the laundry room floor which also flowed under the walls into the hall bathroom and into the garage. OH MY WORD! Yeah I said that and a few expletives. (oops)
Mamma got in clean up mode rolled up her pant legs and sent daddy and Esh to get towels. It turned out being a very Griswold Christmas time oddly enough! If there's one thing about us Harvill's it's that we get along so well and can totally work together as a team.
Buckets and hampers holding soaking wet towels; we tried to wring them out but it was so very cold outside that our hands became numb! Eventually everything was cleaned up and my accident just so happened to bring the family together. What can I say, I'm creative in my plans!
Monday was my first day without working at the Bennett house so I did what any newly unemployed person would do, I slept in! Brittany and I went to Panera to get her a bagel and while there I received a call to babysit that night for a party. Let me just say this house was beyond cool. They had a slide, you know like the one in Blank Check that went from the 3rd floor to the second and once you get to the bottom you land on a mattress. Like whoa. A freaking slide in their home! The father is in the music business and manages bands so all of the band members were just chilling out downstairs...all bandlike! It was funny because I saw these people and thought I have you on my ipod and yet you're right here! Weird but cool. Such a blessing, now I'm able to pay my utility, cable and eletricity bill for the month. Praise Jesus for His abounding provision!
Yesterday was also pretty mellow, I went to an antique store for about an hour or more to look around. I'm like a kid in a candy shop! I absolutely love antiques, vintage plates and jewelery boxes, old books, cameras, maps and post cards. I bought a couple of things for Adam which I hope he likes, his birthday is this Friday.
Poor boy (or man!!) has been studying his butt off for all of his finals. I'm so very impressed with his diligence and determination in knowing all of the information. I keep hearing that the first semester of law school kicks your butt and by his account, everyone truly is being kicked. Eeek he comes home this Saturday, I'm a happy hearted girl :)
Okay so that's enough for the longest post of mankind. I should update this more often. If you actually read this, kudos.
There's my little life...

2008-12-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

still displaced and searching for what feels like home....we're getting closer....I can feel it

Last night I babysat Jet and Boone. Such cuuute boys that I hadn't taken care of in a while, also they're 10 month old cousin, Brady. So 3 boys in total, all under the age of 3. -It was pure madness at some points- I miss that dearly.

With all of the uncertainties about jobs God has totally provided for the month of December. I'll be working much more at IveyCake as well as babysitting for multiple families. His provision is great, I knew this. I know this. I have enough money to pay my bills for December and some left over for Christmas presents. Praise Jesus, He's taking care of me!

Maybe we'll get a little crafty for Christmas...things will be homemade and from the heart.

Music? Yes please. First Aid Kit...... 2 sisters from Sweden who harmonize how I like.

2008-12-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

Walking out of my apartment this morning I noticed our first flurries and even now at my desk the little white flecks of snow are dancing all over the cobblestone.

What a week I just had, everyday had something going on. It was so nice to have Adam here, not only was I able to talk to him on the phone but I could actually spend time with him. Walking around downtown Franklin, watching movies, making pumpkin ooey gooey cake and simply being together. Thanksgiving was wonderful! I spent the night at my parents for two nights. It felt like old times, going downstairs giving hugs to everyone when you wake up.
Mamma was fervently making the Thanksgiving lunch while the rest of us did our own thing. Adam came over around 10 to meet everyone. Nervous nervous! They all got along so well which made my heart happy. Such a big step bringing the boyfriend over to meet the family especially on a holiday like Thanksgiving. After lunch we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas but inevitably we fell asleep on the couch. That evening we went to see Four Christmases with Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. Super cute, definitely a laugh out loud kind of movie.
Friday morning was back to the normal- I worked IveyCake which turned out to be surprisingly busy.
While folding boxes someone walks in and to my surprise it's Adam holding beautiful white lilies and a caramel apple cider! The sweetest most unexpected gesture :)
As the day went on I closed up shop and we went into a couple of boutiques followed by his parents home to watch Fred Clause and Planet Earth. That was amazing! I can't believe they captured all of that amazing footage, after seeing the intricasies of this world you can't doubt the presence of God. His craft is unbelievable.

Last night Kaelah and I decided to put up her Christmas tree. After going through the boxes I found we only had 3 legs and needed 4- Kaelah's first thought, super glue! Didn't work, too thin. Second thought, hot glue! Wouldn't hold. Third thought, packing tape! It stood up for 60 seconds then fell back onto the blinds. We named it Furnard. Furnard the 3 legged half naked ghetto christmas tree.

Today begins my last week at The Bennett House....working here has brought about change in my life for sure. Some places are only meant to be in your life for a season, I guess that's what this was.

2008-11-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

It feels like it's been a while since I last wrote a post.....so sorry.

Lots of events have occurred in my life as of late.
Let me just review for you. Little Betsy's been a movin' and a shakin' and a pretty blessed.

Wednesday night ( like my last posted stated) was Kings of Leon. Absolutely memorable, they know how to put on a show. I moved like never before and I was concerned with nothing else but the music and dancing. Sometimes you just have to let go.
I'm finding I hold so much back that when I actually let go people are surprised.
The rest of the week went as normal- I worked in my cupcake world and talked to a regular for quite some time. I love getting to know people.
Sunday I woke up and got ready for church with Lauren and Nicole. I enjoyed so much the service, especially the music. They played more of my type of worship and I was just sooo filled with joy. He is mighty to save.... SO FREAKING MIGHTY TO SAVE!
When the service ended and everyone started to stand up Lauren said, "I want you to take my Iron and Wine ticket."
WHAT?!!! Are you kidding me?? I can't do that, that's Iron and Wine. That's a spectacular show that no one should miss....ever! I tried to tell her I had plans but she beyond convinced me to take me her ticket.
Nicole and I went to the Ryman- filled with pews and bearded men alike, the show started. Plaid was the pattern of choice, beer in every hand....it was a great crowd.
The show started off with Each Coming Night followed by Upward Over the Mountain- amazing. There were times when I would sit there, jaw dropped, in awe of how fantastic the show was. They would build and build the melodies with their instruments.
Also an inimitable smell permeated the room, it smelt of alcohol and hippie. Perfection.
I wanted so badly to get a poster but by the time the concert was over they were sold out. Sad sad day.

Yesterday I had to bite the bullet and buy a vacuum cleaner. Honestly I can't afford to pay for a vacuum cleaner but our apartment carpet was definitely in need so I did. Another big girl purchase. Hello big, expensive, unexpected, exciting world! I like you.
Last night Adam got into town. Finally! I missed him so very much- I was just happy to see him face to face and be in his presence. We walked around downtown Franklin and I absentmindedly dressed as if it were spring. Really Betsy? Don't you remember it's late November? Just sayin'. So anyway we walked and talked and held hands and life made sense. There's something to be said about happiness.....I sure am happy right now.
Thanksgiving is in 2 days which I can't believe. I'm ready to be with my family again and have the day together!!

2008-11-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

Gosh I love Tom Petty....this song, one of my favorrriiitess, made me smile

2008-11-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

Last night was amazing, I went to see Kings of Leon with Jessica, Whitney, Lindsey and Sarah.

Such a fantastic show, they are by far one of my top 5 bands. I sang as loud as I could amongst the fiery drunken crowd to my favorite songs. It was most definitely a night to remember. Thank you girls for being there!

Amidst the amazing nights that I've had lately, going to concert after concert (Lovedrug and Copeland at Rocketown the night before) I still am living my days in uncertainty. Having lost my job unexpectedly I had to be on the look out for a new opportunity. I know with allll that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord will wholly provide for my needs. I may not be making an excessive amount of income every month but I know He'll take care of my needs. I've had a couple of interviews concerning job leads but I have yet to hear back. In my heart and mind I must realize that God has yet to open the door with which I am to walk through. I am being prepared for a future situation that he hasn't placed in my path.
This morning while I was getting ready- straightening my hair which smelled so awfully of smoke from the concert- I was praying for a God opportunity today. Praying for Him to present a creative outlet where I can spread my wings.
So I'm sitting here at work with a quiet moment and I decide to start reading, book to book, verse to verse. I read in Matthew 10 where He's talking about how if I forget about myself and look to Him I will find myself and Him.
Goodness knows I haven't had my "Ah Ha!" moment about what I want to do with my life. "Finding myself" is something I've been struggling with. I'm surrounded by friends in school who know exactly what they want to do and are actively pursuing that career... sometimes I can't help but be envious.

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

So sorry to be a Debbie Downer, I will have a happier post up soon. : )

2008-11-18T09:55:00.000-08:00

I promise you, that one day this will be my future little home.
We'll burn a whole lot of candles and listen to a lot of great music and cook a lot of great food.

2008-11-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

Gypsy girl around the world your sailing
Cardboard waves
Moving left and right
Catch the breeze that moves you to the sunlight
Do your best
Get here soon
Listen for the clouds that I have sent you
And you will hear them
You will hear them cry
I’ve been sleeping
Harder than a stone
Trying not to wake up ‘til you get home

My pale fingers and toes are getting colder and colder telling me it's time to take a shower.
Not very much has happened today and I count that as a blessing. Right when I was going to do this or that, go here or there, I realized that not being busy has it's points.
Yesterday I worked then hung out with my mom for about an hour, I bought new sheets and a yummy candle. Came home then went out again to dinner with LK and Elle. Loveeee Jacksons, you make me satisfied!
Took my 3rd bath of the week with a good phone call and hopped in my new soft sheets. Simplicity is sweet.
I worked so very much this past week (45 hours) I almost opted out of going to church but I am so glad that I went. There was a song we sang at the end which I connected to- Worshiping You- downloaded it today on itunes.
I left from church with Lauren and Nicole then headed to publix to pick up groceries for the next week or two.
When I first moved in I figured I would be spending $50 a week on food, but I've found it's only $30-$40 for two weeks.
I made some vegetarian pasta with boca burger ground meat and it turned out quite well! I do love to cook, I'm finding it only takes a small effort to have a nice meal. Big girl time! First comes the laundry next comes homemade meals. What a crazy life I lead, right?
I love the fall and my life is great. I needed a pick-me-up. My heart was sad and yet the saying seems to be true, it's always darkest before the dawn. Thank you Jesus for humbling me and blessing me.
"I love you Lord and I lift my voice to worship You oh my soul rejoice.
Take joy my King in what You hear. May it be a sweet sweet sound in Your ear"

Off to take a warm shower and watch Dan In Real Life- good night one and all

2008-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of the first days I felt like an adult.
I'm accumulating these days, realizing more and more that I'm growing up.
I swear I still feel like a 3rd grader though.

You know I have my own apartment, I buy my own groceries, I pay my bills, I work work work, I hang out with friends- life is good. When I was younger and all through high school I would dream about how my life would be as a single girl.
Yesterday I went to work at The Bennett House and met Lauren for lunch at The Mercantile. After work I had to run by Target for some detergent and softener. Wow, the first time I ever bought my own detergent. Typically I drive back to my parents house to do laundry and have catch up dinners, but I decided to take the plunge and do laundry at the apartment complex. I don't know why I was scared of it...not even scared, just weary. Okay so I'm weird, I get this, I surrender. IT'S JUST LAUNDRY, BETSY! IT"S NOT A DEATH TRAP! While washing clothes I went to the work out room and did the treadmill and stationary bike. Adam called me while I was working out and it made the time pass by so quickly. Those two little things, washing clothes and working out made me feel like an adult. Once again, weird right?
The sun went down, it was chilly and fall outside and I was taking care of myself. There's a sense of accomplishment that I've gained from being on my own. It's a scary step but I know that I can handle myself.
Holli came over for just a bit and then we met up with Lauren and later on Nicole for salads at mellow mushroom. Best freaking cesar ever! Dang.
Right now I'm working at IveyCake watching the rain pour through the gray clouds.

2008-11-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

I worked at least 45 hours this past week and somehow survived.
At this point I'm thankful for having the opportunity to work for two great businesses and pay all of my bills.
Can you believe it's full on fall? Downtown Franklin is absolutely fantastic right now, every street is lined with orange and gold leaf drenched trees. Hundreds of thousands of leaves have been swept into heaps along the sidewalks and the air is ever so crisp. I could walk around for hours outside being as it is.

Friday I worked at IveyCake during Wine Down Main and later got to hang out with Adam. A bunch of us just hung out at the apartment talking, ordered pizza watching Will and Grace. Saturday was IveyCake again with a steady flow of customers getting their cupcake fix. Definitely one of my favorite days working there yet, not sure what it was. Maybe I was just in a really good mood. Later that night Adam picked me up and we went to Taste of Tokyo for sushi in Hillsboro then Fido for chai's. I sure do like hanging out with him, he's one special guy. We headed back after a while and his brother Daniel came over to watch a move- The Strangers.
Sunday morning I woke up and Holli helped me come to the realization that rest is a good thing. I also came to the realization that I can't sit down. I must be moving moving moving getting things done. Sunday was such a great day. I ended up hanging out with Adam and his mom while winter shopping was done- got to love western shirts and pea coats, right? I bought a really cute coat on sale at Old Navy which I'm quite fond of as well. Sadly he had to leave that night to go back to Memphis but I drove down to Spring Hill for a girl's night at Surupa's. Such a good time, pizza and Baby Mama.

Today my plans are simple, wash clothes! I think having clean clothes is essential, something I've been missing out on for the past week. Must get that done, must! I guess that's about it for now. Still in prayer about a new job opportunity- God will open the doors.

2008-11-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

This is a time of refinement.

In my posts as of late I've stated how things have been hard.
I'm fully realizing that God is sovereign over all and that through all of these times which hurt which can bruise my ego essentially bring me to my knees.
I was reading this morning in 1 Peter about how we are to be obedient children, that He is Holy.

"Friends when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner." 1 Peter 12-13

The Lord is opening up doors left and right- His promises are true. After weeks of feeling somewhat down in the dumps I have gained anew perspective. My heart is happy and a smile sits permanently on my face. I'm not one to predict the future, simply because I can't- but I trust He has something up His sleeve. It's my humility and submission that will ultimately bring Him glory.

2008-11-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

2008-11-04T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting on my couch in the pitch black- the entire apartment is only lit by the glow of the television and candle.
I'm all by myself, covered in a blanket and my computer is emitting so much heat that I'm afraid I may open windows.

Moments ago I was talking with Holli on the phone and well, this is how the conversation went:

Holli: "Heyyy what-cha doin'?"
Me: "Oh just sitting on my couch watching tv"
Holli: "So are you watching the election?"
Me: "No not so much, it's Serendipity."
Holli: "Oh Bets you would! Of course one of the most heated elections and you're sitting on your couch watching a romantic movie about New York. You would. But this is why I love you."

What's a girl to do...
To give myself some credit I am switching my eyes over to the new york times website constantly. And listening to music and being none the less scatterbrained. Off to get ready for dinner.

Oh what a historic night we have ahead of us and a happy weekend.

2008-11-04T07:49:00.001-08:00

Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.
Psalm 51:15

2008-11-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Oh the joys of being a receptionst. I get to go to the "Clerk and Masters" office and say, "I'd like to have these subpoena's issued."
It's sure worth that $10 bill.

2008-11-02T17:12:00.001-08:00

I'm listening to Coldplay right now
oh how I love them...last night while driving home from Spring Hill I put on Coldplay and let it blare throughout the car, the melodies running out of the windows...therapy to my heart on a dark road.

I ended up going to bed around 9, what a lame-o I am. I admit it...
This morning I woke up and got ready to meet with the girls for our monthly brunch. This time was Jackson's in Hillsboro. Oh how I love Jackson's...and then off to Bongo Java for iced coffee and redneck wedding talk.
Nicole and I spent the rest of the afternoon driving to and from town, talking about old buildings and feathers.

I've come to the conclusion that I love old warehouse buildings and want to remodel them; concrete floors, smokey window panes, and exposed brick walls make me melt. I'm guessing were I to go into any career field regarding the reconstruction of a warehouse they might require a degree and a higher level of skill than what I currently possess. Dannngit.

But I do believe that would be quite a fun, none the less stressful, job.

We decided to start a band and we'll play the tambourine, shakers, snaps and xylophone. We'll call ourselves the Fine Feathered Friends. We'll record our songs and you can come to our shows and be our friends.

2008-11-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

If God doesn’t give us what we ask for, we can be sure that He has something far better.

I'm sitting here at IveyCake on what seems to be a slow Saturday. Maybe that's a good thing....
Last night was halloween and as I was planning on going to Morgan's party I'm driving on the Interstate and my car begins to shake. It shakes in such a manner that I think my tire just blew out. Never a fan of car problems on the side of the interstate I pull off onto the exit and check it out. I ended up taking it to Sears and had a work order done for this morning while at work.

After taking it to Sears last night I get a call this morning from the mechanic and essentially without having to go into major detail, they can't (or maybe just won't) do any work. My back tires are "chopped" and my front left tire is way too low. They won't rotate my tires and they didn't even suggest my getting new ones.
You know its times like these when life gets hard. I don't doubt that I will be provided for, God's provision is great...the hardest part is uncertainty. My mom is meeting me after work today so I can drop my car off at another mechanic in Spring Hill.
When I was talking with her on the phone this morning she kept saying, "Just make that your prayer today. Pray that the Lord would supply you with an opportunity." So that's what I'm doing.
I went onto DailyBread's website and read their devotional for the day and loved how it so matched up with the situations in my life today. Here you are, I'm going to share :)

Paraphrasing James 1:5 "“Ask God for the wisdom to know what is right, what God wants done, and the will to do it.”

2008-10-31T07:36:00.000-07:00

Halloween.

I cannot believe it's already the last day of October, someone slow things down just a bit.

Growing up in a Christian household we never did trick or treating, always church fall festivals. Except for this one year, 1997. I don't know why we opted out of the usual, I'm sure it was because Josh and I bugged our parents enough to let us go just once.
I dressed up as Cinderella, which was the same character I had been for 3 years. Creative much?
At that time we lived in a neighborhood where everyone had lots of land so every home was a few acres apart. By the time we got to our 4th house we stopped, went back home, hopped in the car and got Happy Meals.
It was really funny though, thinking back that was the worst neighborhood to go in. Like I said all of the hopes were far apart, it was a loooong dirt road and I don't think there were street lights.
Maybe that's why we never went trick or treating after that.

So tonight I'm going to Morgan and Alissa's halloween party at their house in Nashville. I still don't know what to do for a costume, I've been told I should be an indian. Pocahontas? Scacagawea?
Maybe I should just be Cinderella...keep it old school.

2008-10-28T08:43:00.001-07:00

Every morning around 4:30 I wake up with a cold nose and frozen finger tips.
During the end of summer when we moved into the apartment my room stayed warm no matter how cold the rest of the apartment was ours resembled an oven.
You think I'm joking?
I'm not one to exaggerate about temperatures...or ovens....k? :)
But of course as we enter the cold months our room, rather than keeping up with the heat it decides, "Let's keep 'em cold!"
Really room, really? So maybe I sound crazy talking to my room but I'm just sayin', I wish it would make up its mind.
I think we just have bad ventilation.

I was reading a decorating blog this morning about the authors' room feeling hospital room chic. I right there with ya! When I lived with my parents I had a lovely room with iron bed and warm lighting...now my room feels like white on white.
I love rooms that when you walk in them there's a feeling of being hugged. Do I sound too...hippie? Well you walk in, a candle is lit, fluffy bed, soft carpet, large pillows and a lamp setting of glow within the room.

...you remind me of home.......

So I'm setting off on a misson, a very affordable antique-y, greys and browns and dark blue love makeover.
I say this with great intentions, we'll see how far I get.

Oh and about my previous post? I'm believing I'm taken care of...like my dad said last night, this is an easy way out. I'm given an open invitation to a new adventure.

2008-10-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

I can't count the number of entries where I talk about things happening for a reason and God's plans being greater than my own.

About 30 minutes ago I had a talk with my supervisor and it turns out that for reasons business related to the company I work for I am being let go. I'm under the impression that since I'm the lowest on the totem pole so to speak, I'm the first to be let go. They're giving me 6 weeks max before it's official and I will no longer work with them.

When he told me what was going on I was in shock. I didn't know something would make that big of a blow but it did and now I'm in this position. Immediately I think God's timing is perfect, His plans are great....but gosh I sure hate not knowing whats going to happen. I will at some point know why I won't work here anymore, He will open up another door and a new phase of my life will begin. But once again, I hate not knowing.

I guess the hard part for me is that I'm already so uncertain about my future and what I should do with my life... sometimes it would just be nice to know exactly what to do and where to step next. Sadly I don't know.

Lord help me to understand your ways and reasons. Help me to trust you and only you. Help me to understand that you, beyond all things and persons, control this situation. I love you Lord, I lay this at Your feet.

2008-10-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

It's Friday and it's also the first friday night I've had off in about a month.
I miss being able to go to Nashville with friends so tonight I have plans! Not to work, not to sleep, but to go for sushi in Nashville with Nicole.
I think that this couldn't come at a better time. I need to get out of Franklin for a few hours and just be young and not working for once.
I want to be able to clear my head, sit at a coffee shop and people watch.
It rained all last night up until lunchtime. The rain has finally cleared and the sun has begun to show through the thick gray clouds. It's freezing though.....I love it.

I get off of work in 5 minutes. I'll run back to the apartment for a quick nap and shower then get ready for tonight.

If someone out there..........well.........never mind.
Happy weekend one and all- pumpkin fest is tomorrow I'll be feverishly selling cupcakes.

2008-10-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

The tape adapter chord in my car tore and so during my drives I've been either praying or singing whatever pops into my head. This morning it was Andy Davis' "Believable Doubt"

Breaking your back to cover your tracks
did it for love or something like that
i don't know who to believe
in so many words you try to explain
how many times can the story get changed
i don't know who to believe

and what's between us just won't add up

oooh, give me some believable doubt
why should i believe in you now
from what i see
you.....call yourself an innocent man
tell me bout the blood on your hands
i wanna hear, wanna hear the truth from you

the devil's talking to me as you fall on your face
angel beside me saying i should be taking your place
i don't know who to believe
there's a criminal part to everyone's heart
outside's clean and the inside's falling apart
i don't know who to believe

2008-10-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

Absolutely, be open to whatever comes next.
Last night the four of us girls- Kaelah, Holli, Brittany and myself- collectively decided to not take the house my boss offered for us to stay in. I understand that it's such a steal and the size of the house was enormous, but as girls we have intuition. We have discernment, and I believe we are given those gifts for a reason. From the moment I walked into the house it didn't feel right, there was something so very empty about it. The rooms didn't feel like home and all of us agreed we wouldn't want to stay there alone. After going with my parents last night to pray over the house and situation we all felt that we would be fighting against something much darker than what we'd like to deal with. It's a relief knowing that individually we felt the same way we just didn't want to rain on the parade. We're hoping things go well when we talk with the apartment people and that everything can calm down.
For other reasons the night was quite.....mind-busy. You know what I mean, your mind just can't rest because of everything going on around you. That stuff being not so much unimportant, but unnecessary to mention on a more personal level.
But today is a new day. And although this morning I woke up with discouragement I made a conscious decision to not have those emotions affect me. I can't they only bring me down...it's a new day! Thank you Jesus for new days.

2008-10-22T11:54:00.001-07:00

Today is a good day!

Thank goodness for afternoon and evenings off, I've been greatly accepting them and using them to my advantage.
Yesterday after work I went to a beautiful furniture shop in downtown franklin called JJ Ashleys to pick up a candle that I absolutely love. So elegantly decorated, I can only dream to have a home with such beautiful furnishings. Needless to say the candle was a bit on the expensive side, but I don't drink and I don't smoke so how about I buy a candle instead!
After that was the grocery store and then back home where I talked to the lady, who is so awesome, about the man below us. After having talked with her she said she would call into the office and let them know that we're not the only tenants he's bothered. She's very encouraging which obviously helps because sometimes you feel like you're the worst tenants ever until you realize it's just one person who is annoyed. But we've decided to take the nicer route- our friend Elle had mentioned we bake him cookies which at first we scoffed and said he would claim we poisoned them or that he was diabetic but it's our chance to make peace. Goodness knows making peace and living happily would be lovely.

I felt much better after having talked with her and Kaelah also talked to our other neighbor who said our apt. complex could call on her for any statements. I love being strong willed and opinionated women, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and fight for what you believe in.
I went inside a cleaned for a little while- lit my amazing candle and felt at ease. A clean house is a happy house, nome sain?!
So Kaelah sent me a list of websites and blogs I should check out. The picture below hit home seeing as I live with roommates you deal with random house guests eating your food as well as your roommates.

Let me preface this picture by saying that this isn't how I feel but tooooootaly found it funny and relateable.

2008-10-21T12:01:00.001-07:00

Okay I'm better now.

My last post was very....rant-eaque. Forgive me sometimes I just have to let it all out.
Yesterday afterwork I put on happy pants and took a nap which was soooo needed. Lounged around the house for a while and eventually got back out with Holli and Kaelah as we had dinner at Garcia's. Neither of them like the guacamole, which I don't typically like in the first place, but it was very good!
We walked over to kroger to buy some draino-darn clogged shower- and also I bought a candle. Nothing fancy but after being lit in the house for an hour the whole apartment felt so cozy! I love a great candle, it gives off such comfort to me. I hope to by my favorite candle when I get off of work.

I also hope to run by the grocery store and pick up a few goodies, I think I'm going to splurge on pesto, artichoke hearts and sun dried tomatoes. yuummmm.
Tomorrow my parents are going with me to visit the house in Brentwood that we may possibly rent out for 6 months depending on our apartment situation. Speaking of, I talked to the lady I've been speaking with concerning the whole twisted situation and she can't meet with us tomorrow. Golly! Really?? I would really enjoy getting this over with and have things sorted out.

That's it for now- nothing fantastically crazy just a bit simple right now.
Tomatoe.Tomahtoh.

2008-10-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

"I used to feel so alone in the city, all those gazillions of people and then me on the outside.
Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years and then I realized you must say, "Hi".
They may ignore you. Or you may marry them.
And that possibility is worth that one word."
-Augusten Burroughs

As the morning has passed it seems I've gotten borrowed feelings.
My dad has always referred to them as borrowed feelings and his point is so well put.

You borrow feelings.
Say you're in a relationship with someone, if they're having a pissy day- they're short with you and are very snippy.
In turn you take on those same feelings and instead of replying with a different point of view sometimes we also gain a pissy attitude when really, there was no reason.
Say your friend is worried about what's going to happen with a certain situation- they mull over it, they share their opnions and frustrations- out of friendship and understanding you in turn take the worry upon yourself. Most of the time this is done very subconsciously. We hardly ever realize that beforehand we had nothing to think or worry about. Especially if the situation, whatever it may be, has absolutely nothing to do with you- But none the less, we borrow feelings.

Today I'm borrowing feelings or maybe I'm just frustrated.
I talked to my mom on the phone last night while she was in the airport waiting for her flight and I was at home. She kept saying, "You need to take care of yourself, Betsy" "You need to give yourself rest"
I teared up...I miss my mamma. And I miss hugs, I hardly ever get hugs anymore.
Today I would like a hug...a real one. Really, I just want to be held and there be no agenda.

Last night I ended up not going to a hangout with friends. Part of the reason was that Kaelah wasn't having the best day and I wanted to cheer her up so we bought junk food and watched movies. Then the other part of the reason being I was gone EVERY SINGLE DAY last week. Keeping up with things I said I would do, I worked, I did chores, I ran countless errands for other people, I did this and I did that. So the one night in the week I chose to stay at home I could feel the anger rising from my friends in Spring Hill. Look I'm sorry I didn't go. I know I promised I would, I planned on it- but sometimes I don't want to freaking plan. Sometimes I just want to be able to rest. If you get upset with me, I'm sorry- there are points when I am going to do what I want to do. So I did. I took care of myself. I stayed at home, layed on the floor with Kaelah chowing down on chips and chocolate watching Smart People. It felt good...finally a night at home where I was in the house before 10pm.

2008-10-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

2008-10-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

I'd say the things that happen in my life don't always come with expectancy- typically I just find myself surprised by what comes my way.

To make a long story short our living situation isn't at its best. Because of a neighbor who lives below us, whom I'm talked about many times, has complained so much to the point that we could be kicked out. The thing is, all of the statements he's made are somewhat outrageous. With all of that said, yesterday I was at working looking at other options for us if we had to move out of the apartment. As I was looking my boss came up behind me, inquired, I let him know the situation and he offered a home that he has which is currently unoccupied. He would let us stay there for an unbelievably reasonable price- beyond what I would have ever asked for.
I'm currently praying that we make the wisest decision. It's so easy to think in the moment, but the decision we make now will obviously affect our future and I want to make sure that we're coming at this from a logical position.
Were we to take my boss up on his offer we would would only be able to stay in that home until the end of March which would mean we would have to move once again. Moving is a process I have done allll my life. ALLLLLL. So far I've lived in roughly 10 different homes- and I'm just getting started. Whatever the case may be, I realize that, once again, God's plan is much greater than my own and I know he's got it worked out. I just have to pray for wisdom and ask for His help in hopes that I'm walking in His will.

Whatever happens, whatever comes my way- I want to be happy and I want to know that I'm doing the right thing.

P.S. I took a career aptitude test and the results are Sports, Media and Entertainment. Really? Sports?? Is there something I'm missing. My dad has been telling me that I'll marry a football player....what has this world come to???
Happy Friday one and all, it's fall

2008-10-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

The sun glaring through the trees looks like fall but the humidity and temperature tell a different story.

We just got back from dollywood late last night, around midnight so needless to say I'm a bit tired from the day. We all got up at 5, left by 5:45, got starbucks and headed to Pigeon Forge.
For some reason the park looked entirely different than it had when I last was there 10 years ago. The good thing about going on a Tuesday was that kids were in school for the most part and the lines wait was no longer than 5 minutes. We rode the first roller coaster, probably my favorite and most intense, about 2-3 times. We basically rode every roller coaster twice though all of the other rides in the park were water rides and none of us wanted to get wet.
A lot of times I felt like the 5th wheel just because it was me and two couples, but never once did I have to ride alone, Josh and Adam always took turns which was so nice of them. And even at lunch when I ended up having to sit by myself, Brittany brought her lunch over....she was really great about walking with me through the park and asking me how I was doing. I really like that girl, I'm so glad that we're roommates.
I have to say though, if ever you want to visit dollywood, do it in the fall. It's in the mountains and you're surrounded by color changning trees and little water streams. Good times. We left the park at 6, ate at cracker barrel where we tried and failed at playing that stupid triangle peg game. One time I ended up with 7 pegs left....how is that even possible? Really? Am I that much of an ignoramus? Apparently. Tons of pictures are on facebook if you'd like to take a look.
No plans for today but to go home, nap, cook dinner and watch last nights episode of The Hills.
I sound so lame.
What are ya gonna do, right?

2008-10-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

sooo.....

I'm completely exhausted right now. When I woke up this morning and put my feet on the floor it was as if they were yelling at me saying, "Really? Do you really need to use us?" But of course I had to, I had to work and there was no way around it. By the end of the day I was definitely warn out- one of those times when you find it hard to even walk. Sad, right?
Basically today was not my day, but at least tonight I can rest. I just had sushi while watching Hope Floats- now it's paused and I'm talking to Whitney.

So......it's not even 9 on a saturday night and I'm lying on the couch- I promise there can be exciting points in my life. And I promise at some point I'll write about those things. Promise? Yes. Promise.

2008-10-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

You know those nights when you sleep too much and your initial intention ends up being the wrong end result.
My point being, last night I was a tired lame-o and went to bed at 9:45 (we can so round that up to 10) and woke up at 8:10. I think I may have given my body more sleep than it was used to.

Okay so updates on things?

Today starts my official 2nd week at IveyCake which I like a lot. The people that come in are always excited and aren't pissy or in a rush- one lady was, she blessed me out and complained- but that's besides the point. Since we aren't crazy busy the majority of the time, I listen to music on my laptop, make mixed cds, drink coffee and fold cupcake boxes. I organize and color coordinate cupcakes...I'm your official renaissance girl. Good to meet you!

Tuesday night I went to see Nick and Norah's Infinite playlist with Whitney, Holli, Brittany and Josh. I really liked it, and want someone just like Michael Cera. He's a sweet dork who likes good music, need we ask for anything more? Also, it is my goal to pull off that wine stain lipstick that the main girl was wearing....I know it will make me mysterious if only for a night.

I got out my old art from 2 semesters ago at O'More- there's a shell picture that I drew that I would like to frame and give to my grandparents who live on the bay in Mobile. Looking at them pulled on my heartstrings with art. Not just looking at it, but actually doing the art. Not on a computer but hardcore getting your hands and clothes dirty; having charcoal under my finger nails, smelling of spray paint and spending hours drawing lines. Gosh I miss it..... I really really miss it.

2008-10-07T08:55:00.001-07:00

I'm much better now.

Yesterday morning was rough, I think my blog says it all.
Did I have an epiphany about my life pursuits? No
Did I find the man that I'm going to marry? No, not so much
Have I embarked on a new and exciting adventure? Well...not really

But.

I went home for the afternoon/evening to hang out with my parents- wash clothes, get groceries and cleaning supplies and dinner. I love my dad, we had a long conversation and he gave me a different perspective and reminded me of the things that I've suppressed. I've become more tolerant of things where I live than I ever would have been beforehand. I've "okay-ed" situations that I truly don't believe are right to simply keep things uncomplicated and not messy. In the end I've made myself unhappy and at this point I shouldn't have to pay as much money as I do for settling. You know?
This also presents uncomfortable situations which I pray God will help me to navigate through with the right words.
Daddy also reminded me of what I want concerning future relationships. Such a blessing to have a father such as him. He's been an amazing role model and friend. See these are some of the great reasons to go home...you're reminded of where you came from and your beliefs.

It's so great outside right now. Today looks like my fall. The sky is white, a bit dreary and all of the leaves on the ground are yellow and orange. Yayyyyy!

2008-10-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

She Decided to Start Living the Life She'd Imagined

Today sort of feels like it's going to be a rough day.

Last night Josh had to keep Bernie (my boss's dog) until Ken, my boss, got back from his trip today. I got a really uncomfortable allergy attack before bed and in the middle of the night. I come into work today with glasses on because I'm too embarrassed for my puffy eyes to be shown to my co-workers. But then again it doesn't help when someone says, "Gosh Betsy, you sure do look tired today." Awesome thanks, definitely what I wanted to hear.

I was thinking about something yesterday, just sitting on my bed I thought, I'm not happy. And again this morning at my desk, looking out the window watching all of the leaves fall, I'm not happy. If I were to smile it wouldn't be true, it would only be out of courtesy. I'll even say, "Great!" when you ask me how I'm doing but really, I'm just not.
I'm not fulfilled by being here...this place in my life, as nice as it is to be on my own- to have a couple of fun jobs- whatever whatever....I'm not happy. Last Sunday hanging out with the girls I was happy, I felt content where I was that afternoon. But now, today sitting in my chair with puffy eyes and binding papers, I'm not.
I want so much more out of this time in my life and I don't know what it is. Am I not trying hard enough? I mean I'm working my butt off to pay rent and bills...the occasional grocery visit and what ever else decides to come my way...but I'm not fulfilled.

Honestly I want to travel. I would so much rather be on a plane or being active than sitting in the office being pissed at my annoying cowboy boot wearing co-worker. I'm just done.

A while ago I posted a picture of a journal I found online with the words " She decided to start living the life she'd imagined" on the front. I want so badly to do that. With all of my heart I want to be able to do what I love.
Wouldn't that be spectacular?

2008-10-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

Transatlanticism

I'm completely drained.
Yesterday I worked 13 hours and today I'll do about the same.

I was at IveyCake all by myself yesterday which was enjoyable. A bit slow and a bit quiet. I folded boxes, talked to customers, sold cupcakes, then Lauren Kupchik and Nicole came to visit me! It was such a nice surprise as I had been alone in the store for quite some time.

Can I rest? Truly?

Here's to hoping. Here's to getting a life.

2008-10-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Seconds ago I came out of the Thomas Room Studio to listen to Cathy's cover of Janis Joplin's Summertime. She was/is seriously seriously good! I meannnn Cathy! Totally dig what she laid down vocal wise. And I found out Mick is the one who did all of the guitar riffs....cool little quiet mick. Funny......

So there I was sitting on this huge white leather couch listening to this track they just did the vocals for. I love my job- it's way too cool....and I love that it's such a "whatever" to go sit down in a studio where some of the biggest artists of our time have put down their own vocals and guitar parts...where some pretty darn memorable songs have been mastered. Like c'mon, I'm just blessed with a great job.

(The picture above is of the Thomas Room though it looks a bit different now as that was taken while Keith Thomas owned the house about 4 years ago)

2008-10-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

Oh man, bring me back.

I'm listening to DeVotchKa, just turned them on actually, and the song is Clockwise Witness.....reminds me of the beginning of summer...the very beginning of June. Weird how music does that to you.

Just had a flustered 20 minutes. Paul handed me his credit card and I got everyone's Starbucks order; I walk the block to get there, order 5 drinks, come back to the office to divvy up the drinks and of course as I try to take out Paul's Iced Venti Unsweetened Green Tea it completely spills all over the floor. No need for Pine Sol, we've got iced green tea! Oh goodness, so I had to run back to Starbucks and get him another drink.

My chai is now room temp, sad sad day.

Busy day ahead of me- well today and tomorrow. I'll finish up at The Bennett House at 3 then at 3:30 I'll work at IveyCake until 9:30 tonight. I know I'll be so worn out....but when you're young and have bills to pay, what else can you do? Kaelah got all of our bills in yesterday. I feel like we pay a bill every week. Will I ever not have to be stressed?

2008-10-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

I was reading a blog- a Swedish blog which I really couldn't read I just looked at the pictures- and thought about it's name.
"The Pains of Being Pure at Heart"
I don't really think any of us are at all. We can have the purest of intentions, I know I've definitely experienced that, but we're really not pure at heart are we? We can try our hardest to achieve that purity, I'm sure great strides can be made....but in the end can we be? And yet it's not to negate the actual process or say that the effort was all for nothing because I don't believe that's true either.
See? That's what you get for going to a Swedish blog that you can't even understand.

2008-09-30T07:37:00.001-07:00

When the time is right, don't hold back.

I guess this is the point in my life when I learn a lot about myself.
And I guess this is the point when the people you surround yourself with, teach you something.
Or maybe this is when I finally recognize that I don't have complete control of myself.

Last night Kaelah, Adam and I were in the living room talking over the noise of laptops and Bridget Jones Diary- he said something very poignant to me that struck a chord.... and what he said was right. It makes absolute sense.
I realized how everyday you learn you're someone just a bit different than you thought you were. One instance can completely change you- everyone and everything has a chapter in your book. Everyone and everything you've come in contact with- all of the happenstances, all of the relationships- lasting and short, great and hurtful- help to mold who you are.

I want a great life and I don't think I've reached my peak- I believe I will be a different person a year from now than I am today, as we all will be- and I might just be somewhere different. I will have met people and come close to them that I haven't even met yet. Who knows when, where or how.

2008-09-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY
Yesterday I woke up and got ready for church, a knock on my door and both Jessica and Lindsey were there!!! Yay! I can't tell you how happy I was to see them- all of the crap that went on the night before felt erased. I had my friends here, I had the ones I trusted and loved so so very much at my door step.
We headed off to JourneyEcclesia which was great, once again- totally a spirit filled church. MellowMushroom for lunch, walked around downtown Franklin, sat on a bench and talked about life and relationships for a good 30 minutes at least. Once again, love those girls. What would I do without them?
We jumped in Jessicas' jeep, took the windows down and blasted the new Kings of Leon. Such a good album! Love love love Sex on Fire and Use Somebody.
We decided on buying a disposable camera because none of us had our digitals- best idea ever. What ever happened to plain old 35mm film? We drove to the Natchez Trace Bridge and took fun pictures, jumped, you know the usual. Drove down many more windy roads and ended up at a hiking trail- it was only a 1/2 mi. so we figured even though we were in flats and flip flops, we could conquer it.
Once we made it to the look out we sat in the woods on an old log and talked about what our lives are going to be like...how many kids....meeting men...you know the good stuff.
Decided we all wanted something to drink and went to Puckett's in Leiper's Fork- got ice cold root beers and birch beers and sat on the back porch for an hour. Talking, reminiscing, talking about needing a friend group reunion, trips to Asheville.
My heart was over joyed. Despite the crap and drama that went on the past few days, I was able to put it behind me. Stuff happens some you can control and some you can't. You must take your friends with you- you must carry them because they will love you for who you are.
And honestly, a simple prayer goes the longest way. I found myself just asking for a good day, for something happy to happen....and He provided. Being down in the dumps isn't worth my time. My friends are, music is, country roads and the best sundays are worth it.

2008-09-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness, what a weekend.

When I think about all that I did the past 3 days, I really had no rest. Sure I may have gone to bed early, but I didn't get to be lazy one bit.

FRIDAY
I met Whitney for dinner at wholefoods for sushi after having gotten lost for who knows how long then we went to The War Memorial Auditorium to see The Avett Brothers! Definitely a Jessica/Lindsey crowd. Seriously, if you mixed their two types of guys they would look like the people who love the avett brothers.
They were really good and the crowd was much more enthusiastic than I had expected, almost like I was at an Irish festival or something....beer puddles, jumping people, fists raised in the air....drunken flirty baffoons. Good times.
During the concert this guy who I stood next to kept apologizing to me for his "drunken flirty bafoon" of a friend...and saying he was sorry for bumping into me. I was just like, "No worries man, it's a concert. You bump into people, people drink it's fine."
Randomly during the show he would tap me on the shoulder and ask me questions or tell me things. What's your name.... Where do you go to school... Aren't they awesome?!... Towards the middle he tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear "So I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really pretty. I've been watching you during the show and I think you're cute"
I was so taken aback. Really? Someone thinks I'm cute? WHAT?! It was such a fun thing to hear after having such a crappy morning. Once the show was over, the lights come on and we're all back to the real world- I sort of assumed we would both ignore each other, but instead, :), he stopped me and said, "I'd love to see you outside of here, we should hang out sometime."
So being stupid me I said, "Awesome!" and of course nothing else...because I didn't know what to say. Anyway he said, "Well, could I get your number? I mean, would that be okay? I don't want to be creepy, but could I have your number and call you sometime?" So I said yes...who knows if he'll even call, but it was the simple fact that someone thought I would be cool enough to get a number from. So thank you, Ben. You helped my night end quite well!
After the show Whitney and I drove around for about an hour or so and took pictures for quite a while, then back home to sleep and feel normal.
SATURDAY
Saturday was my second day to train at IveyCake and I think I'm getting the hang of it! The people that come through are so very sweet and excited about the shop. I know I'll be happy there, so glad God has placed me there.
I'm not required to do much but be nice and sell cupcakes. Both of which I think I can do :)
Later that afternoon Zack called and we hung out for the evening. Bestbuy, West End, WalMart.... Being completely broke and out of gas, he was nice enough to buy me dinner and hang out for a while. Though the night didn't end on the happiest note by any means, I liked that during the day we could just chill with each other. We didn't get the chance to be friends when we first met, we just started dating. So I liked that, hopefully we can salvage a friendship....but I just don't know. I went to bed that night frustrated and worn out....I prayed for a better day, I prayed for a happier heart.

2008-09-25T08:29:00.001-07:00

i bet he reads chuck klosterman :)

2008-09-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

How is that I could go about my days being so oblivious? I gave up a lot... and trusted more than I should have.
I feel like a fool. Holli said I'm not a fool, Holli said not to beat myself up about it....she said you live and you learn.
I think that's what happened. I lived and I learned and now I know I was foolish.

Patience is a virtue because desperation will inevitably kick you in the butt.

You can quote me on that.

2008-09-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

All good things...

Last night Mamma came over for a little dinner and I prepared my very own homemade barbecue sauce! Thank you to Giada DeLaurentis and her Balsamic Barbecue recipe- I bought about 6 chicken thighs and baked them in the sauce, made brown rice and broccoli! She only stayed for a little bit, but I'm so glad that she came! Now Daddy needs to come over seeing as I haven't hung out with him in the longest time.
Later on the three of us roommates watched the Sex and the City movie which came out yesterday. I want to say that was the first night ever that it was just us girls in the apartment. No boyfriends, no friends, just the people who actually pay rent! Crazy. But it was fun- sadly Brittany will be moving out in a few weeks so it was good to have some time just us girls.
Nothing too exciting happening in my life right now, it's pretty quiet and simple.
Most likely I'll look fondly on this time when nothing was too complicated so I guess I should hold it close.

Italy is still so prevalent right now- I can't help but think that there's something there I have to do. I'll keep steady in prayer about it; I soo soo soo wouldn't mind living there or at least visiting it for an extended period of time.
I pray my plan is in line with His will, that I'm not thinking of this place with my own selfishness but that I truly do have a purpose for it being on my heart. Like I said, I'll keep steady in prayer. For now I will carry out what is in front of me.

Hmmmm Italy..... *sigh*

On a normal, get real note, Kings of Leon's new record dropped yesterday. Totally happy with it, I want to pick up a copy ASAP.

2008-09-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Meatloaf.

So many harsh words are said about Meatloaf- and granted, the name itself isn't really helping the dish out. What should we call it to make it more appealing? Meat Casserole? Loaf Shaped Meal? I mean there's no way around it, meatloaf will sting the ears of those who had bad school lunch experiences or ground beef slices with ketchup for the mid-week family dinner.
Can you relate?
I had a half pound of lean ground pork in my freezer that I wanted to use up before long. For some reason the only thing I could think of to make beside spaghetti- which has worn out it's welcome at our house- was meatloaf. Thank goodness over the past 10-14 years I watched and helped my mom make dinner so I had a good idea of what needed to go into making this publicly hated meal.
I picked up some tomato paste and eggs at Publix before I came home from work; I put all of my ingredients together and hoped for the best. Mind you I had no recipe and called my mom for help but she didn't answer- I take it it was God's way of saying, "Betsy, you can do this! You can conquer this meatloaf, girl, I know you can!"
Thanks God, alright!

Here's what I mixed:
1/2 Lb. Lean Ground Pork
1 Slice Low Carb Wheat Bread torn into small bits
1 Egg
1/2 Can Tomato Paste
1 Tsp. Basil
1 Tsp. Marjoram
1 Tsp Garlic Powder
S&P

Mixed it up, put it in a baking dish (not in the shape of a loaf, more like an oval. So I basically had a meat-oval last night), baked for 40 min. at 400 degrees. Twenty minutes in, I took it out of the oven and spread a thin layer of the tomato paste on top and popped it back in.
All of that to say, it was good! Really and truly! I'm proud of myself because I didn't know the exact way to make it and was scared...but I'm glad I could trust my instincts. :) Adventures in meat-ovals....I'm soooooo lame

2008-09-22T12:21:00.001-07:00

The sun has finally begun to shine on my desk, the office has felt like I was sitting in a freezer until now.

It's been pretty slow and quiet around here, only 3 calls thus far.
I re-read my Domino and kept thinking about how I want an uber comfortable home. One where you can walk in, plop on the couch and have the whole place smell of clean linen. Ice cold lemonade in the fridge, soft plush carpet and all of the windows open.
I love to stay over at someone's house for trips, they always seem to make things perfect for you. Extra clean white towlels, crisp tight sheets and breakfast ready in the morning when you wake up.
I hope to be a good hostess one day, I hope I'm a good hostess now.
Maybe I should just open up a Bed & Breakfast and be done with it. I mean I guess I love to please people and make them happy, all the while I feel I'm doing the same for myself.
I bet Paula Deen has a nice guest room.

2008-09-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

I'm getting back to how I used to be. Before the summer started I went to bed every night by around 10 or 10:30- I didn't have much to keep me up, plus I had to work the next day. The summer began and everything changed, my life sort of flipped upside down. New relationship, moving out, new/different friendships, busy-ness....you name it, my world decided it wanted to be hectic.
The summer has commenced and fall is back for a visit. The relationship ended, I've moved in, friendships have changed and some have become even greater, and I'm still a little busy. I welcome it all. I have a feeling this fall even more things in my life will be different, it's a new season- truly it is.

Yesterday Jessica and I went to Journey to Ecclesia, a young and artsy church held in The Factory. Such a great environment with great teaching and sweet worship. I needed that more than you know. I needed to be fed in the worst way and afterwards felt so renewed and energized. Going to church with Jessica felt like old times when we both started to visit Newsong. Both at the same time of year, actually. We agreed that we would like to start going there- hopefully I can get more connected than I was at Newsong. I need a community of believers surrounding me- I need that uplifting encouragement during the week.
We went to Noshville for lunch but of course I was a ditz and accidentally left my debit card there. We went to Starbucks afterwards (where I realized I left my card) and left to go back to Noshville to pick it up. Get this- after all of that we head home and I realize that I've lost my cell phone. What? Honestly? Really? Gahhhhh. I call Starbucks and of course I left it there. I don't know what is wrong with me, someone please help my feeble brain!
To cheer myself up I bought the newest Domino :)

I talked to our neighbor across the hall for about 10 minutes after I got home. Such a cool cool lady, so glad she's nice and a Christian! Yay for fellow believers! Anyway she jokingly made a comment about the mean man who lives below us. Apparently he gave the other tenants before us hell for them having a dog and whatever else. It's good to know that we're not as loud as he made us out to be. I guess when you're older and grumpy you have nothing better to do than complain about those living a life more active than your own. Does that sound bitter? Ehhhh probably. :)

Surupa is coming over this afternoon for a visit with Karisma! I need to find a goody for us to snack on...what to get? Maybe flowers too?
Okay longest entry ever coming to a close.....NOW.

2008-09-19T09:28:00.001-07:00

I'm offically a dork. No bowing down, maybe hiding my face in the collar of my jacket.

When I was little I remember loving to watch Martha Stewart- I would see how she organized all of her home goods, gardened, cooked, cleaned, baked, etc. Also I remember walking through KMart with my mom, and I had to have been no older than about 8, we strolled down the plastic organizer isle and I said, I want to be so organized when I'm older and then something to the effect of wanting to be like Martha Stewart. See? I'm like the biggest dork on the planet!
Anyway living at home with my parents I kept as clean as a teenager could. About once a week I would make my bed, clothes would be strewn across the floor and don't even get me started on the bathroom. Honestly, that was the most disgusting bathroom. When two teenagers share it doesn't work out so well. Toothpaste, hairspray, hair on the floor, wet towels, trash overflowing, I think you get the point.
Essentially it's respect. Respect your home, respect your guests and those you live with. Am I just completely off kilter here, like hardcore whack-a-doo?
Anyway having since moved into my own apartment I've become somewhat OCD. Not in the wash my hands 7 times in a row or anything like that, but I like it to be clean. At least picked up, you know? If I come home on my lunch break and the living room's a mess, I'll pick up and put away everything...same goes for the dishes and bathroom.
I've housesat and babysat for so many families, all different homes, incomes, decorating style and cleanliness. One family I babysat for was absolutely appalling when it came to being clean. I mean, dirty dirty people. Old dried food splattered, animal hair caked on couches, kids half eaten suckers stuck inbetween cushions, fecal matter in the bathroom...just disgusting. After babysitting for them a couple of times I vowed I would never ever ever ever be like that. I would never let my home go to that extent or even close.
But then I've housesat for other families, so very put together. I felt comfortable in their home. Clean counters, nice things, items put in their place, candles always lit...it was nice. I commend her for her impeccable home skills.
Anyway I think I'm aiming for that at my apartment. A place where people walk in and they feel it's cozy and well taken care of. As if to say, "You girls have it together!". That would be a huge compliment for me.
With this long post follows pictures!
Your very own OCD, Betsy :)

2008-09-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

Zooey Deschanel will be on the newest cover of NYLON.
I'm ecstatic, she has such an ease about her, such a cool yet unaffected grace. One of a kind, one of my style icons.

2008-09-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've been a little quiet lately.

Somewhat stepping back from my usual tell everyone everything self. More than anything I've found I have nothing left for myself, all I have is a jumble of everyone's opinion but my own.
Like in one of my last posts I wrote about cooking and budgeting. I've been very good about that lately and have saved a lot of money. I spend money on the most random things that I don't really need so like I said, this poor period has become a blessing.

Tonight I took a bath, the first bath I've taken since Spring. There's something wrong with being a girl and not having taken the time out for a simple bath. I've also made sure that I not be so out of it when it comes to the news and what goes on in our world. Thus I've been reading article upon article in The New York Times everyday and instead of watching tv I've gone straight to reading....currently: Eat Pray Love. I am so very much enjoying the Italy part of it.
I belong in Italy, I know this...I've known this for a while- at least a portion of my life should be lived there.

Tonight Kaelah and I are going to make a great and tasty italian vegetarian dish. Zucchini, Squash, Peppers, penne pasta, mozzarella....yum.
I'm......I'm just trying to better myself. Sunday I hope to visit a church in The Factory, it's supposed to be really artsy and very accepting of the younger crowd. I want to find a different church, so I'm on the search. Searching for God knows what is pretty much my motto at the moment. I'm getting through and I'm trying to find what fits me.

Before I go, I must mention I know have another part time job...I'll be working for a close friend of mine, Ivey, at her little cupcakery in downtown franklin. Ivey Cake.

Fall and cupcakes? yes please.

2008-09-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

oh! oh! oh!

I just remembered....as I'm looking through pictures of stir fry I realized I got the wok from work! A ton of musicians and bands have made their very own asian cuisine's out of that Wok and here I go about to make my own.

I layed out a chicked breast and the asian veggie mix...also bought some Teriyaki sauce today for $1.50. Yay for being domesticated!

2008-09-13T12:28:00.000-07:00

Growing up isn't the easiest thing to do, if anything it is a trying process.

In my previous entry I had a bit of a rant concerning my cell phone bill. This morning I went to Circuit City to talk it out and hopefully have some of the fees- completely unexpected ones at that- waved. When I first got the phone I knew my biggest problem was texting so I made such effort in not texting people lest necessary and not answering back for the same reason. I figured talking on the phone instead of sending a text would greatly cut down on the bill I would receive. Come to find out that's not the case. In turn I ended up talking around 250 minutes over what I pay for (450 min). Also $0.45 is charged for every extra over'd minute talked. I ended up having to get a bigger plan to double my minutes so now I pay to talk for 900 minutes a month.

Afterwards I went to wal mart to pick up a couple of food items for this next week. I knew that anything I got had to be because I needed it. I went straight to the freezer section and stocked up on $1.24 bags of frozen broccoli, italian mixed veggies and asain mixed veggies. When you don't have tons of money to work with to splurge on "fun food" you have to become innovative and creative. My mom let me borrow some recipes for the meals she makes that I love and I also brought in my Betty Crocker cookbook that's been sitting in my car.

I feel that my mom was so great when she raised us because she genuinely tried to make the wisest decisions. We didn't have to go out and buy a $4 box of granola, she would go home to make it. Everything from scratch pretty much all the time. She was a strong woman to have the time and capacity to make all of that. But in her being like that, it motivated me to do the same. Plus in the end things are much healthier and you can monitor what you put in your body.

I'm seeing my lack of money as a blessing rather than a curse. I'm eager to look through all of these recipes and see what fun things I can make for next to nothing. Here's to trying new things!

2008-09-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

I hate bills...they just bum me out.
Yes I know, it's a part of life. But honestly, I don't want to hear that right now.
What I want to hear is Verizon say,
"Miss Harvill, we're deeply sorry that we're draining you of all of your money.
We regret lying to you saying that you'd only pay $45.00 a month but have in the end kept charging you at least $200.
We're jerks and we want your money. We make a lot of money off of you and your talking into the air through a piece of plastic."

Okay so maybe that's harsh, but I don't like having to pay for things I didn't agree and sign a contract to pay for. Nome sain?

2008-09-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

i miss my moleskine.

My very first class I took in college was a three hour long studio art class two days a week. I drove 30 minutes to sit, paint and draw for 3 hours straight. To some that may seem like torture but it was very therapeutic. My teacher was cool enough to let us bring our ipods so I would put it on shuffle and brush away.
We had to draw/paint/collage in a book pretty much every night. Most everyone bought the cheapest 8x10 hobby lobby sketch book and drew a couple of circles. Not to say what they had created wasn't art, but you could easily tell they didn't care and drew them on the way to class before turn-ins.
Everyday I spent at least an hour working on my moleskine pages. Watercolor was my favorite as well as pen and ink. I loved carrying it with me in my purse, if ever there was a lonely moment I would take it out and scribble some lyrics and doddle whatever was around me.
One night I went with Jessica to Borders and for almost an hour I remember us sitting in a corner reading Pablo Neruda poems and copying them down word for word in each of our respective moleskines. I must give Jessica the credit, she was the one who introduced me to both that great little book and the amazing poet. Jessica you're awesome, you've taught and showed me so much.

I miss having the discipline of doing art. It may have been mandatory to sit for those hours but I truly enjoyed it. Art school was for sure home and comfort.
Maybe this weekend when I get my paycheck I can slip on over to the book store and buy myself a new one.

So is that what I'm supposed to do with my life? Should I do art? Should I keep it sacred as if to keep my sanity outside of my career? Do I even need a "career"? These are the questions that plague me...bahhumbug.

2008-09-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

It's days like these when you feel useless and stupid.

You get, if you're lucky....oh so lucky, maybe 4 hours of sleep
Everything you try to do ends up making you look like a fool and completely incompetent
You question what it is you're going to do with your life and how long you can stick it out as a lowly receptionist

You know those commercials where the people are standing in a big red circle and they give the schpeal about "I'm in the having a new wife and now have to pay a mortgage" time of my life. Do you know what I'm talking about? Well I'm in the above stated sleepy and directionless state.

I want some freaking direction! What am I good at? Where should I be? Cause it's days like these when I don't feel like I have much going for me. Maybe things will pickup- maybe opportunities unknown to me will somehow show itself to me.

Jesus, I need direction. I need guidance like you wouldn't believe- well you would believe it, You know me inside and out.
ugh....

2008-09-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

(XVII) I do not love you...
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you without knowing how or when or from where
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride
So I love you because I know no other way than this:
Where I do not exist, nor you
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

2008-09-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

Bird.

It was passed from one bird to another,
the whole gift of the day.
The day went from flute to flute,
went dressed in vegetation,
in flights which opened a tunnel
through the wind would pass
to where birds were breaking open
the dense blue air -
and there, night came in.

When I returned from so many journeys,
I stayed suspended and green
between sun and geography -
I saw how wings worked,
how perfumes are transmitted
by feathery telegraph,
and from above I saw the path,
the springs and the roof tiles,
the fishermen at their trades,
the trousers of the foam;
I saw it all from my green sky.
I had no more alphabet
than the swallows in their courses,
the tiny, shining water
of the small bird on fire
which dances out of the pollen.

2008-09-01T00:38:00.001-07:00

I just had the most emotional and tough night of my life.
I'm so drained from crying the past 3 days but still have a lot of fight in me
This is where unconditional love steps in

I never expected my life to be like this, ever
But God gives us people in our lives and situations for a reason
I'm willing to learn, I'm even willing to get hurt in the process
I know that Christ knows better
I wholeheartedly trust His plan
Beyond what I know
Beyond what some are telling me, I'm going through this
I'm trusting.

2008-08-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere
put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere
put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere
put me on a plane and fly me to anywhere

I need the mountains right about now

2008-08-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face

2008-08-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite authors was asked to say a prayer ending Monday night's Democratic National Convention.
Disappointed that I found out about his speaking only today (4 days later), I really would have loved to see it. By the greatness of youtube and blogs abounding I was able to read and watch his prayer.
I thought it was so very on point and not offending to any specific party or religious beliefs. I say that as a Christian of course and that the prayer was directed towards Jesus Christ. So glad that he was the one to speak. He has a really special way of understanding and relaying his thoughts in a non segregative way. Essentially I feel that the sentiments he spoke is something that should be echoed in the hearts of the people in our nation, not just specifically for those of the Christian faith.

With that said, here it is:

"Father God,
This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.
We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.
We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.
Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.
Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.
Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.
Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.
Hep us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.
Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.
We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.
Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world.
A lot of people don’t like us but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.
Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world.
Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.
Lastly, father, unify us.
Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.
And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments—but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.
God we know that you are good.
Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.
I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.
Let Him be our example.
Amen."

For access to/information on this insanely great writer, go to donaldmillerwords.com

2008-08-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

It was as though they all understood, this would be the last summer.
The last carefree days, the last of the open air cafe. Everyone of them,
all over the world they just knew. So they breathed it in and they
ran down country roads, they ran to the oceans and to the
fields and the festivals. They threw caution to the wind and
they loved you with a fierceness unfettered.
Fall is on the way.

2008-08-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I want to just push seriousness aside.....
in the anxiety of bill paying and adult responsibilities I'm going to look on the brighter side.
Updates?
I went home to my parents house on Tuesday night after I babysat to get some alone time and to wash loads of clothes.
I must say I love living with two girls and always having our apartment full of people and conversation but at times I just want to be quiet. Three girls and three boyfriends on a constant basis. I love them all but I also love my being able to be alone. The thing is, we all feel this way. We all want privacy but rarely do we individually find it for long periods of time. So I went home, I rested, I watched tv shows I actually wanted to watch. I shared a bathroom with no one and went to bed right when I chose to. Glorious!
You don't realize the things you had until they're no longer available to you. But like I said I also love being with people. We're all young, and into basically the same things, we all stay up late, listen to music, bake, chow down on cereal, and sit on the little deck. It's great, but you know, never quiet. Tonight I babysit again, for the same family and think that I'll be staying over at my parents again. The babysitting gig is in Spring Hill and they'll be out late so it makes sense.

So fall is growing closer and closer. I put my flats on for the first time since winter and they feel so good! No heels for works or super strappy sandals, just my jewel green peep toe flats, hello lover. :)

With that said, here are some great fall looks I would love to adapt this coming season.

2008-08-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

"it can be natural to wander from God, only to return to know God by choice.

Not everyone has to wander in order to travel back to God, but for those of us who have found ourselves growing distant from the trappings of religion and the traditions of our upbringing, there is hope. When the decision to follow God is ours rather than a decision made for us by our church or parents, it’s a relationship that’s stronger than ever before."

That's the ending lines to a great thought provoking article I just read on relevantmagazine.com

Without getting too personal or too in-depth I want to just say others have most definitely questioned my "wandering" as of late. Or rather assumed I was wandering away. What I found in reading the article, which I also so deeply felt in my heart, is, that a departure from church services for a couple of weeks, or a month or even a couple of months didn't mean I did/was deserting my faith or upbringing. As it hurt me to be asked these questions by close friends/family members I felt and feel that more than theirs, it was my path and my life. Their decisions weren't and aren't mine. I say this with a sincere heart and a soft tone. I'm saying this quietly with no aggression and simply want to convey what I'm going through. Let me know Him by choice, let me experience Him by choice not by your persistence or your motivations in your own personal spiritual life.
I know beyond anything else that Jesus Christ is Lord, He is my personal Savior and I am in no way pushing Him out of my life.
Just because I may be surrounded by co-workers who are non christians or associating with non Christians doesn't mean I'm abandoning Him or that relationship.
This post is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I am just laying it out there. Please, once again, note that I am saying this is the nicest manner, and I know people's concern comes from their loving me and watching out for me. You know you who are, and you know that I love and appreciate you in my life. :)

So please do take a minute to read the article, I thought the way things were worded were so right on.

2008-08-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

i like you.

there's this little orange book that I bought one day simply called 'I like You'

here are a few or five of the little phrases they have in the book

"I like you because
I don't know why but
Everything that happens
Is nicer with you

I can't remember when I didn't like you
It must have been lonesome then'

"I like you because

When I tell you something special
you know it's special
And you remember it a long long time

You say
Remember when you told me
Something special
And both of us remember"

"That's because you really like me
You really like me
don't you

And I really like you back
and you like me back
and I like you back
And that's the way we keep on going
Everyday"

"And I like you because
If we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then You are the one that is yelling for me"

"I like you because because because
I forgot why I like you
But I do

So many reasons"

"I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again

That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I like you really
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you

I guess I just like you

Because I like you"

2008-08-22T08:15:00.001-07:00

i will love you forever

2008-08-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

I'm tired tired tired. I assumed going to bed early, 11:30, that I would be so awake and ready for the day. Not the case. I've already had too much coffee and espresso for one's good and I know this only because I'm jittery.

I couldn't hold my own in a egg and spoon contest, no I could not.

Tuesday night was none the less a crazy night- at around 11 the four of us, Brittany, Josh (Brittany's boyfriend), Zack and I decided we were bored and wanted to go on an adventure. We drove about 10 minutes to the Natchez Trace Bridge in Leipers Fork to do who knows what. Everyone was creeped out thinking the bridge would fall down or some insane invisible motorcyclist would come barreling down the road and run us over. Not the case once again. The boys pee'd off the bridge, the girls scoffed at them, we all layed down in the middle of the bridge and stared at the stars for a little bit. The visit to the gas station for snacks was aka Zacks insane attempt to down approx. 5,000 pounds of sugar. I don't need to elaborate except to say that sugar does crazy things to that boy. Whatever you do, do not give him sugar.
Pictures:

Yesterday my dad and keith delivered the best gift roommates and an empty apartment can receive, a new leather couch!! Finally something to sit on in the living room other than the floor! Going 3 weeks without somewhere to sit is long enough, do you think? Thank you Keith and Daddy, we love it and are so very greatful!
Last night Kaelah, Lauren Kupchik and I went to this great new Sushi restaurant in Cool Springs, Wild Ginger. Very sort of ritzy, of-the-moment, cool place. I must say that the firecracker maki was insanely good and I highly reccommed it! We ate up then topped it off with ice cream at cold stone. Sinless sweet cream = betsy's new friend.
Tonight I drive to Murfreesboro with Leeeeentseeeeee to visit the boys new house and hang out with ms. whitnasty for great girly birthday things!

I'm excited!
and exhausted.

Lord, grant me the energy to get through today and tomorrow! Saturday, you are a welcome friend, feel freeeee to visit whenever you choose. You are not like fish and houseguests- after 3 days you stink....oh no no Saturday, you can stay as long as you want.

2008-08-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

She decided to start living the life she imagined.
I think I'll buy this journal. It's only eight bucks and tiny
enough to jot down dreams I think up.

2008-08-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

Will you be my friend, my friend of friends,
beyond every one, everything,
forever and forever?
–Henry James, The Bostonians

Each friend represents in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
–Anaïs Nin, diary, March 1937

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person…
–Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls;
for, thus absent friends speak.
–John Donne, “Letter to Sir Henry Wotton”

2008-08-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

Monday Monday Monday

I've started so many blogs with that Tegan and Sara tagline.
The weekend has come and gone and I don't think I got to experience it or revel in the fact that it was the weekend.
Well yesterday was good, yesterday made up for my lonely Friday and Saturday nights. Friday I went to bed at 8:45 because I had to babysit Saturday morning in Spring Hill at 7. Surprisingly I woke up energized- it must've been because of that salt scrub. It must have been!

Found and love the illustration above. Kaelah and I will start to work out this week! C'mon determination!

The next door neighbor to the house I was taking care of for the weekend is a Tennessee Titan football player and he was having a birthday party for whom I'm assuming was one of his kids. When I drove up to the house after babysitting there was a huge moonbounce in the backyard with a big white tent and party decor vans lining the driveway. Once 5 pm came dark tinted escalades came in droves followed by shiny range rovers and mercedes. Their anonymity intrigued me, yet the bushes separating our yards guarded their rich faces. 70's music and hip hop blared through the speakers atop the bright white deck- you could hear loads of people, smell the grill's smoke and hear children splashing into the pool. That's a life I don't know if I'll ever experience. I took a video of my walking onto the deck of the house I was at just so you could hear the music- Cyclone playing loud for all to hear. I'm sure the 60 year old couple across the street wasn't too happy. Oh well.
Yesterday I finished all of my dog/housesitting. I hung out with Lindsey which was soooo needed and so nice.
I bought a towel holder for my bathroom, a great candle which smells uncannily like wildflowers, a super cute navy blue maxi dress, toilet paper, tilex and a scrubby brush for good measure. You know you're lame and growing up when you get excited about housewares. Or rather, you know I'm lame and am growing up when I get excited about that stuff. I'm weird, I get it.
Hung out with Jessica, Lindsey, Josh, Ryan, Daniel and Jordan for a while scouring KMart and Walmart for futons. We ended back at my apartment eating pop sicles and playing scattergories. I love those people so so very much. I love that I can be myself around them and not be judged. I am absolutely nothing but myself when I'm with them- I don't have to be something I'm not and the great thing is, they still accept me. Yay for true friends!!
Tonight The Hills premiers and Kaelah and I are going to have a mini get together at our complex's movie theater to watch it. I hate that this is the last season, I just adore this show. Not a guilty pleasure, just a pleasure. Uggh but I'm stoked about Whitney's spin-off show. Eeek so good!

Got to get back to work.

2008-08-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

...because my roommate, Kaelah, is better at posting pictures than I am...

Those are from Tuesday night when we made Spaghetti, Banana Pudding and played Life.
Last night I started housesitting for the weekend for my boss's dog and then my mom's boss's dog. Bernie and Georgie respectively.
Kaelah came over for a couple of hours and we talked, drowned ourselves in chocolate ice cream and rode up and down the elevator. Yes, they have an elevator. We rode it quite a bit...maybe too much, but when in rome...when in elevator. I think you get the point.
And Kaelah, if you read this I just want to let you know that you're amazing. I absolutely love love love having you as a roommate and friend, I wouldn't have it any other way!

Yesterday afternoon I went to TJ Maxx to pick up a round, deep bake safe dish because I decided to make my favorite mexican tower meal. So freakin good it was! Anyway I had to pick up the dish and I also treated myself to some cocoa butter salt scrub and insanely moisturizing body butter. Once Kaelah left I took a shower and scrubbed head to toe with that salt scrub- I feel like a new born, I'm not kidding. You should shake my hand...it's really really soft. Just sayin'.

Today is Friday and as much as I want to hang out until the early hours of Saturday, I have to work the early hours of Saturday. :( I love the kids that I'm going to babysit, but the fact that I have to drive from Brentwood to Spring Hill to be there by 6 am is not enticing. I mean Starbucks won't even be open! I can do this, right? I can leave the house at 5:30 am, can't I?
I have no idea, I have to.